I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Friday, May 29, 2009

Maybe next time

So, I'm officially in the process of a miscarriage, or whatever the clinic calls it. My numbers dropped today from 64 to 49. I know it's all for a reason, but, it still hurts. I should expect my period within the next week or two. That ought to be fun-I haven't had one since March! Ughhhhh. I have a follow-up June 10th; we'll talk about what the next step will be then. Until then, I just hope the torture will be over before June 8-happy bday to me!

25 comments:

Alex said...

Ugh, I am sooooooooo sorry. ((Hugs)) I know that doesn't really begin to cover it, but just know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish we could truly understand why these things happen, but then again I'm sure it would still be just as painful to go through anyway. I wish it weren't so for you guys, I was really hoping this would be it for you! :(

517Butterfly said...

Sweetie I am so incredibly sorry! ((hugs)) You and your DH will be in my thoughts & prayers! I hope you and your doctors can come up with a good game plan on your followup on June 10th!

Kelly said...

I'm so sorry to hear that. It will work out and your doctors' will have a good plan when you go and see them in June. Stay strong! I'm praying for you!

A said...

Oh No! Im so sorry to hear that!! Im praying for you as you navigate through this crappy news. Hopefully the docs have a good plan for the future. Keep your head up. This may have happened for a reason but it still sucks :(

Barefoot said...

Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. I hope that your period isn't too horrible, that you're able to enjoy your birthday, and that you get some good answers and a new game plan on the 10th. Thinking of you!

Sew said...

I am so sorry for your loss! I am so sorry.

Nic said...

I am so so sorry.

strongwoman said...

I am so very sorry. It wish that infertile women would only get straight BFNs... it is simply too cruel to get our hopes up with a chemical pregnancy. I hope the fact that you were able to get pregnant on this try bodes well for future attempts!

JellyBelly said...

sending you hugs and prayers! i'm so sorry for your loss.

:)

allisyn said...

i cant even begin to say how sorry i am for you guys....my thoughts and prayers are with both of you! I know this sucks, but just keep the faith...God's got something great in store for yall...hope your doc appt goes extremely well June 10th! :)

Duck said...

Hey,
I'm so sorry to read of your loss, it is never easy, and my thoughts are with you

LupronGirl said...

So, so sorry for your loss...

katery said...

well that totally sucks, i'm sorry. i think your chances are greater the second time around though, you will get that baby next time!!

Sonja said...

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs*

Jenn said...

(((hugs)))

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your DH.

Jeanne said...

I am so, so sorry! My thoughts are with you and your husband at this difficult time. I'm so sorry.

Jeanne

Christa said...

I'm so sorry, I wish this could've been it for you. Take care of yourself and your husband.

Erika said...

ack! I'm so sorry! Wishing you the best as you go through the next while, I can't even imagine what you're going though. **Hugs**

Yaya said...

I am so so sorry. You are in my thoughts.
(((Hugs)))

What IF? said...

No, no, no! (cursing the universe for its cruelty.) I hope you are feeling physically better by your birthday, and that the June 10 appt brings a solid new plan.

Be gentle with yourself now. You and your Dh are in my thoughts.

Jeanne said...

I am thinking of you...

Jeanne

Kischa said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! I know this is so hard for you - be strong.

I was thinking about you this weekend - went out of town with dh to get away and forgot my crackberry charger.

Mommy of a miracle said...

I am so sorry to hear the news. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

callmemama said...

I'm so sorry - I was out of the loop this weekend and just read your news. My thoughts are with you, and I hope you're doing okay. So sorry you're going through this...

Lauren, Daniel, James and baby Brendan. said...

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I know how difficult it is. Do not give up hope. They told us we would never have children and I had so many problems, surgeries and pain that interfered with my life. But I am now about to have my second son with no medical intervention. Miracles do happen. So hang in there and bless your heart!