I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Feeling better but worse

The silent migraine type symptoms seem to be fading. Let's hope!

But, with it's good riddance comes bleeding and worsening rib/chest pain. My right lower rib/chest area has been hurting since the beginning of my cycle this time. Usually it's just around Day9 and lasts about 5 days. Today, it's pretty gross. Plus, I am having some shoulder tenderness too (unrelated) that isn't helping. BAH!!! I'm wondering if they can look up that way with my laparoscopy. You think? We've already talked with the RE about my recurrent pains...she asked about the gallbladder and I explained that all of that had been explored. She too seems to think it may be some endo up there. But, I guess you just leave that alone until it's just completely unbearable? Just my ponderings right now as it stabs with every (even little) breath I take in.

And, the bleeding. My poor body; it's like, WTF maaaaaannnnn. I started bleeding on Saturday. It's not awful, just really annoying and it has come with cramps to boot. I wonder how long that'll last!

Oh, I also think I have a touch of a stomach bug or something. Let me tell you, that, coupled with cramps has not made for a pleasant afternoon. Thank goodness it comes in waves though, so, I'm not completely rendered useless today. We've actually been very productive!!!

So, yep, that's that. You can tell that my body was already getting used to the pill since the bleeding started. It's amazing how quickly it all sets in, you know? Medicine sometimes baffles/amazes/scares me.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Bye bye BCP

So, just wanted to post a quick note-I came off my Loestrin yesterday. After taking it for 3 days, I started noticing some "visual disturbance" symptoms...of which I am having some right now too. I called my MD, and, she wanted me to discontinue the BCP immediately. My luck. I didn't take it last night, and, still having some problems right now. Could it even have been that so soon? I dunno. I have a history of migraines with auras on BCP, so, who knows. Given my history, it was probably a better idea to be off of it anyway. We'll see. I kinda hope it WAS a side effect so it'll go away. It's almost like I have a hard time focusing, or, when I shift my eyes it takes a few seconds to refocus. It's actually really hard to describe-it's weird and I hate it. I hate having such "dramatic" type symptoms. Hmph. Anyway, better safe than sorry I suppose...

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Eeeep...here I go!

I start the Loestrin tomorrow (they said on Day3 of my next cycle). I am not too thrilled about being on BCP; I had hoped to never be on it again! Keep your fingers crossed this way please!!! No migraines and no ill effects...

Hmmmm...does it matter what TIME I take it?

This period hasn't been too bad. Leading up to it I was having random stabbing pains (a few of which forced me to hug some clothes racks at Target one day). But, overall, I've had worse for sure. I've just been taking normal Ibuprofen!!! So, if it weren't for this ever-growing mass on my right ovary, I probably wouldn't be looking at another surgery anytime soon. But, it's likely for the best in regards to my fertility. We can get a for sure answer on the tubes question, and, my Dr. can really see first hand on what is going on in there. And, again, I really hope it'll help with the constant drag of nausea that plagues me!!!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope you all had a wonderful and pain-free day!!!

Thursday, February 12, 2009


I was tagged by ReadyGo to share 6 things that make me smile. I don't normally do these (mainly because I forget when I am tagged), but, I realized I needed this today! :)

1. My crazy wonderful husband. His unconditional love amazes me!!!

2. My family and friends

3. My cat....when she is being sweet

4. Any day that is not a work day!!!

5. VACATION/travel

6. My new blackberry...yes, that is so materialistic of me ;) But, I do...I love it and it makes me happy right now!

I tag: Christa, 517Butterfly, Kischa, Endochick, Jeanne, and Allisyn. Enjoy!

RULES:Link to the person who has tagged you.Write down six things that make you happy.Post the rules, tag six others and let them know you did it.Then tell the person when your entry is complete.

Saturday, February 7, 2009


Loestrin will apparently be my BC prescription until the surgery. It has been so long since I've been on BCP, and, to tell you the truth I am not at all excited. I've never heard of this pill. Anyone? I just looked it up. Looks like it's part progestin like I took with Lupron as my add back (norethindrone acetate) and something called ethinyl estradiol. Interesting. I need to call and ask if they want me to be taking this continuously, or, as indicated. It has only 4 days of sugar pills, instead of the regular 7 in the days of old.

I found out yesterday my surgery is first thing in the morning (hooooray, give me those fluids!!) and my pre-op is set. Everything is set and ready to go. Now, just waiting on my period. It should grace me with it's presence sometime next week...the cramping has started to ramp up already and just the normal, everyday icks. I really hope this surgery can help those gross feelings go away for longer this time. A girl can hope, right?

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Date set

The date was set today for surgery-It won't be until March 20th. Yeah, that's a long time to mull. But, really, there wasn't time this month. The 20th of Feb. I may still be on my period, so, that's out. I could do the next week and miss my work trip (27th), but, then I wouldn't be ready to fly out the next weekfor Baltimore (throwing a baby shower for a friend). The week after Baltimore is Friday the 13th-NO WAY (and, actually, they couldn't that day anyway). Lol, so, in all reality, it was my only option, work trip or not. I'm not missing Baltimore!!!

I have a consult with the GI surgeon who will be scrubbing in on the surgery the week before. I've heard great things about him from a few of the nurses at work, so, that makes me feel a little better. Also, the woman that scheduled my surgery, I actually know her because she is one of our patients. Last time I had surgery, I ended up knowing the nurse that admitted me and did all the IV and such from church; I felt so much knowing that I knew someone there. So, knowing someone again this time makes me feel at ease. Silly, maybe...but, I need that ease!

I did find out that I will be doing a colon prep. I didn't have that before my last surgery. It was pretty last minute, so, that's probably why. So, not looking forward to that. I've experienced it because of my colonoscopy back in March, but, I was really hoping to avoid that until I was 50 in time for another colonocopy-haha! Wishful thinking apparently. I know why they need me to do it though, so, I can manage. I just know it's going to suck!!! ;)

I'm trying not to be anything but positive. Though the other night I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head concerning it possibly ending up being an open surgery or them having to take part of my colon. I'm really nervous about all that. I know I have no control though and they will take care of me as best they can. And, I am hoping it'll make me feel better. I am SO tired of being sick everyday. It gets old after a while! All I can do is pray and stay positive. I know I'll have my days, but, that is my overall goal until surgery.

I hate that I have to wait "so long" (it's actually only 3 weeks longer than the first date they called me with). I'm an anxious type of person anyway, so, I have to try really hard NOT to worry about things. I can do it though. It's busy at work and there are lots of things coming up soon to look forward to and keep my mind busy.