I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Health update and, siblings?!

I couldn't quite make it without the citalopram.  I started seeing a psychologist, and he said how I reacted so quickly to starting a new med he was certain that I was having a pretty bad withdrawal.  Another few weeks and he thinks I probably would have been feeling better, however, I'm not sure I could have made it that much longer.

I'm doing ok now.  I'm on a SUPER low dose of Lexapro, and, not having the symptoms I was before.  I think this is something that I will come off in a few months, with some talk therapy sessions if to help with my GAD if I can ever get in to see someone!!!

I've been to a cardiologist in the mean time for my fatigue and near fainting spells.  I had a tilt test done.  It wasn't positive, but, suggestive.  Next step is the endocribnologist for my very low glucose levels.  I'm really hoping there is an answer out there for why I've felt so strange since giving birth...something that can be fixed I pray.  I finally have far many more better days than bad, but, those bad days can take a toll!!!

My son is amazing.  He's almost two...where does the time go?  I hate when people ask us when we are going to have another one.  Um, I'm sorry, wasn't it a bit of a struggle to get where we are now?  I answer and say that we are enjoying every second we have with the gift we have been given.  Most of time that shuts people up but MAN are people opinionated on the fact that children need siblings.  Don't get me wrong....long ago it was my dream to have a large family.  However, that may not be in the cards for us.  I'm not sure where life will take us.  If we can conceive on our own, I'd be thrilled.  If we can't, I can't really ask anymore of the wonderful son that we have.  We are DONE with IVF.  Our son was our last embryo.  Not going there again.  Adoption isn't off the table, but, again it goes back to enjoying and feeling blessed with what we have.  My health hasn't been all that awesome and I'm honestly not sure I could tackle two.  I know that we will be given what is meant for us...and, until then I'm loving every square inch of this little guy....who isn't so little anymore.