I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Big "bad" world of IVF?

I'm sure you have all heard about the latest IVF story
(Click Here).

So, there is a debate that seems to be going on concerning this headline, and, I wanted to see what you all thought. A chat board that I visit often started the "debate" about this publicity being another "bad rap" for IVF. I'm not sure I agree.

DO you feel the embryo switch up/mix up is 100% bad for IVF?
Do you feel the family who was implanted should have kept quiet from the media?
Do you think that nothing good will come from this – i.e. possibly more stringent regulations, etc?

Gotta love the media AND the public. The media isn't going to publish fluffy, "normal" news such as "Couple conceives with IVF". That's not "news" for the rest of the world. UNLESS there is a sad story or something involving some sort of tragedy. And, can't completely blame the media. The public wouldn't want to read about something that "normal" happening. You don’t hear that millions of people go through IVF with no problems. That news just doesn't sell. So, of COURSE this is going to be a huge story. It's sad, it's tragic. It's just what America thrives on. it sells. PERIOD.

Why should the couple keep quiet? It would come out at some point anyway (litigation). Besides, why do they need to hide? People need to hear this story. Sh*t happens...this could happen to ANYONE. I can't say that the thought never crossed our minds during our IVF process...because it did! These are HUMAN BEINGS that are responsible for all that you are going through; left to human error. Again, I'm not saying it's OKAY for error, but, it happens. So, for this to be BAD publicity for IVF...I just don't know. I mean, people have surgery all the time and materials get left behind in them. People still have surgery-many times voluntarily. It's just how life goes sometimes and you just keep on keeping on?

As far as regulations go...what's wrong sometimes with more regulations?!?! Hell, I want these Dr's and clinic staff regulated! Hopefully it won't affect insurance more than that is already affected.

And, as tragic and sorrowful as it is, I am trying to focus on the silver lining. This family made the decision to carry this life to term (they've known the whole time). They chose life and they chose to give this life back to the parents that it belongs to-to give that couple the chance they've been waiting for! In the end, it's a beautiful tragedy. I cannot imagine what either couple is going through. But, I'm thankful for wonderful people out there willing to sacrifice in the face of such a tragedy and for such a beautiful thing to become of it.

What do you think? I'm not opposed to differing opinions. I find it interesting different takes on this manner. And, maybe I'm just naive!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Thank you

Thank you as always for your support. I love this blog and all of you! I'm starting to feel better (knock on wood). My cold seems to be on the mend, finally. Voice is still a little raspy with a lingering cough. But, the truck that hit me finally left. My husband got sick too...well, he started out sick first but has gotten the cough as well. He has been able to take expectorant though, so, hopefully his isn't nestling in.

Everything went well with the OBGYN today and the baby and everything looks good. We still have a long way to go, but, today was a good day.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Update: Bronchitis

I have finally started feeling a little better today, but, this cough is just hanging around. I went to the MD today and she said although it wasn't full blown, that I had a touch of bronchitis or the beginnings of it. I'm hoping it's on it's way OUT! I knew they wouldn't be able to give me any relief, but, I just needed to make sure it wasn't embedding in my lungs. So, it kinda is, but, not fully. I think that seems to be good news? My fever broke this AM, so, that was a relief for me as well. Dr.'s orders are Tylenol as needed, FLUIDS, FLUIDS, FLUIDS...which I have been pushing as much as possible, and REST (which is kinda hard to get when you are running to pee every 20 minutes from all the fluids and coughing the rest of the time). She wants me to stay home through Monday. This has completely trashed my PTO. Not that I had much to begin with. But, I need to rest and take care of me and "Little D", as my husband's brother is calling the baby.

Hopefully we'll get to see the baby again on Monday at my OBGYN's appointment (and hopefully all this mess will be GONE!). I'm pretty nervous about it. I started spotting again some today. I think it's to be expected with the blood clot, or at least I hope it is. Can't fret. Just need to rest and take care.

Another prayer request for Melissa who is expecting her baby on Saturday. As a fellow infertility and endometriosis sister, she has had quite the time with this pregnancy. See Jeanne's post for more.

Thinking about you Melissa!!!!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

What a hell of a week

Now I have a wicked cold, all of a sudden! My husband has been feeling a little congested and this AM I wake up with a cough! Throughout the day it's gotten worse and worse. Not good timing for sure. I'm monitoring my temperature and will stay home tomorrow to rest. All this coughing is really bothering my midsection as well! I'm trying to stay hydrated and eat good, healthy foods. I feel miserable and must admit I'm a little scared.

Please say some prayers for my blogging friend Eileen. We are IVF "twins" and I am mourning her loss today. I couldn't believe her blog when I read it. She is a fellow infertility sister and we should all send her some loving words.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Brief update

I can't type a lot on the crackberry. Baby is fine-measuring a little ahead actually. HB was great. There is, however, a rather large blood clot sitting behind the sac. I'm taking it easy today and will blog more later. Thank you, as always, for your wonderful comments! We aren't out of the woods yet, but, we are thankful for todays results with the little one.

Anyone know WHY these happen? I was in too much relief to even ask!

More later.

Continued from earlier:

So, basically she told me to go home and rest today. No exercise and other restrictions until at least I see the OB next week. "Take it easy". I've been feeling like crap the past two days...before this event even surfaced. I guess it was my body telling me something is up.

I don't know much about this blood clot. She didn't give me any clinical terminology (but, it does sound like this suchronic hematoma that people have written to me about) regarding the clot, but, she did say that my paperwork would be coded as a threatened miscarriage. She said anytime bleeding is involved they use this diagnosis code so that if I do need another scan, my insurance can't give anyone crap. She told me this so I wouldn't be startled if I saw it on any of my papers. She said for now that everything is looking good and to just try to relax; that she can't predict the future, but, as of now the baby looks fine.

So, I'm trying to do that. And not be a google freak. Dr. google is maddening sometimes!!! I hate the unknown, but, I just need to trust my body and my Dr. for the time being and just take things one day at a time.

Is there anything connecting my endo with this? How does this happen?

These are things that are on my mind now, aside from the temporary relief from the ultrasound.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

I know I said I wouldn't post...

But, I'm slightly freaking out and I don't need my real world people knowing. I just passed a gigantic clot (l1/2 the size of my fist) that was bright red; and now I'm bleeding. Please say some prayers our way. I spoke with my Dr. (thank goodness she was on call) and I have an apt at 9 AM tomorrow. I know there is nothing they or we can do. So, I'm trying to be as relaxed as possible and "normal".

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Where is this blog headed?

I've been thinking a lot lately about where I want this blog to "go".

Endometriosis is a part of me. It always will be. You always hear that pregnancy will make the endo "go away". I know with my extent of disease, I will never be endo free. Maybe it will help with symptoms, maybe it won't. But, no matter what, my life has been forever impacted by this disease.

I plan to continue to focus this blog on endometriosis, endo-related issues and awareness. I want to be sensitive to my readers as I am well aware of the emotional pain and frustration that go along with endometriosis and infertility from my own firsthand experience.

I realize that some readers, especially those struggling with infertility and miscarriage, may not wish to see frequent updates regarding pregnancy. Therefore, I am making such updates on my other blog at http://charlottedays.blogspot.com. If you wish to follow along on my pregnancy journey, please look for updates there.

There may be mention on here from time to time. That can't be helped. This is a part of my life now too. But, I will keep it to a minimum! I'd like to research more on pregnancy AND endometriosis and endometriosis AFTER pregnancy, so, I'll probably be making some posts on that. And, if I find that the endo is affecting my pregnancy, I may post that here as well as I feel that this kind of information would be helpful for present and future endo sufferers.

I appreciate your continued support. Posts may be few and far between at times as our house is now FOR SALE (whoa!) and other obvious changes going on. But, I'm here! Don't forget me! ;)

PS: Why does blogspot always want to fix "endometriosis"?!?! Random!!!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Formal introductions

Here's our BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm 7 weeks and due on April 23rd! We are measuring perfectly so far. Not much to see, just a little jellybean right now. But we SAW and HEARD the heartbeat this morning (HB=145!), and it was the most overwhelming awesome feeling ever. I didn't think I'd cry, but I did! A lot! I almost missed hearing the heartbeat because I was sniffling and trying to keep myself composed.

I just love the clinic we were at-everyone gave us hugs and I am just so high on life right now. I hugged my Dr...I just want to hug EVERYONE right now!!!


And, yes, for now they see just one ;) They thought they saw another sac and my hubby almost passed out, but, they are almost certain there's just one little jellybean in there for us. My mom is still holding on hope for two. She is so ready to be a grandmother!!!

So elated. Still a few more weeks to go to get out of the first trimester, but, we are cleared for exercise, "intimacy", etc. Wow. This finally feels so real!

Thank you for all of the support!