I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Interesting article

I've got my first session (in a long while) set up for the last week in November for the accupuncturist.  I'm also on the cancellation list (fingers crossed!!!).

In the mean time, I had a friend tell me about this vitamin she's been taking to help her PMS called Chasteberry.  Then I found this little ditty.  I'm going to try it...as long as it doesn't interfere with my PPD meds.  I'm going to grab it this afternoon and run it by my pharmacist.  I'm not sure about the two other vitamins on here...maybe one at a time.

Anyone have experience with vitamins helping with any endo symptoms?  Probably not pain, but all the other wonderfulness that these effed up hormones can bring?  :)

Friday, November 2, 2012

Acupuncture and Endometriosis

Anyone have success with acupuncture helping your endo syptoms?  DO SHARE!!!
Endo and acupuncture article

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

US and a new diagnosis?

I had to cancel my original ultrasound because my little guy was sick.  So, I got the same a$$ for this appointment.  YAY (insert sarcasm here).  My ultrasound went well.  My right ovary is glued tight to my uterus, no HUGE surprise there.  I mean, I thought maybe that would have gotten better with pregnancy, but, that's how this disease rolls.  The left has a small endometrioma on it, but, nothing too concerning for the moment.  As we all know that's about the extent of endo detection with an ultrasound, but, I wanted to know the state of any endometriomas before talking hormones.

BUT, that was the same 'ole conversation, different day.  IUD is my option....and I dont like that as an answer.  So, now Im looking for some natural options...for the LEAST to help with the PMS type symptoms.  That won't help with pain. ANY SUGGESTIONS?!?!?!  Shame that my GYN didn't have any  :( I've thought about doing manual therapy to help with the adhesions and pain, but, I had a session a few weeks ago and was nauseated for almost a week afterwards.  I'm not sure I can hang!!!

The ultrasound also showed changes in my uterus that shows signs of Adenomyosis.  Fantastic, right?  Like I need more issues going on in there.  This, however, can't be confirmed without a hysterectomy, which I don't plan on having any time soon.  I'm not sure if this could further complicate my fertility.  "He" (a$$ GYN) says no...but, I obviously don't hold his opinions very highly  ;)

Thanks for all of your comments and support!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Dear Endo sisters

I went to see a GYN today because my nausea has become so much that I need help managing it to function some days.  Guess what?  "Nausea isn't typically a sign of endometriosis, just pain".  I was floored.  I'm sorry, SIR.  Have your ovaries and colon ever been attached to your uterus before?  No?  No uterus?  Have you had two prior surgeries for your Endo?  Oh, again, no uterus?  Then STFU.

Yeah, I'm pissed. 

And, from that point forward I basically dictated how the appointment would wrap up.  YES, sir, I AM interested in hormones; however, I'd like an US first to make sure I dont have another endometrioma (since I've had three)....because I know hormones won't help with that.  So, US scheduled, check.  FU, with ANOTHER GYN at the practice following the US, check.  THEN, I'll be happy to WORK TOGETHER to try to find a hormone that doesn't work adversely with my migraine history, but, can hopefully HELP to keep my symptoms at bay for a while.  Oh, and a prescription of Zofran, check.

Seriously, why did I have to pay $45 for that appointment?!?! 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hi there

It's been so long! I didn't even realize it's been since Feb since I've last posted.

Just this week we celebrated our little guy's first birthday. What a tremendous milestone!!! It was a very emotional day, but so wonderful. I can hardly believe time has flown by so quickly. It really does fly! We've of course tried to savor each and every moment...even through difficult times.

Tredding on Endo waters again. That hasn't been so fun. Finally got my PPD under control and feel like a different woman...a good 1-1 1/2 weeks out of the month. Then ovulation comes, and this WALL of
exhaustion overcomes my life, nausea and anxiety. All that seems to subside with the actual period (who knew?!?!), and then life is wonderful again until my cycle hits that certain point.

I'm not on any BC at this point. I held off because I wanted to get the PPD under control before takling on more hormones or whatever to the mix. The time is now to decide. I have an appointment with my OBGYN in 3 weeks to discuss the state of the nether-regions, and to discuss whether she thinks that hormones could possibly help to ease my symptoms. I just want to be normal! Hmmm...that sounds familiar.

Just today I had a PT appointment, and she worked some on my pelvis because I've been having low back and sciatica pain recently. She touched spots that sent me jumping off the table, and now I'm SO nauseaus.

It seems the journey is starting over again. I knew it was coming. I could tell right after I had our son.

Im so conflicted about going on hormones. I'm not sure I want to try again for another one. It was emotionally exhausting. It's not like we can "not try"...how can someone that knows their body so well do
that?!?!? And I don't want to go crazy every month wondering...then the disappoinment. I'm not sure it's worth it. But, the other part of me thinks, "THIS IS THE TIME, NOW OR NEVER". This is something my
DH and I will be discussing over the next few weeks so I will be prepared when I see the Dr.

We will NOT be going through IVF again. Our son was our last shot. We were blessed with him on our final go round, and, I'm just not going there again. Not that it was a horrible experience, just don't want to GO there.

Hope you are all doing well. I've seen some wonderful updates...and see I need to update pages that I follow!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Testing 1-2-3

I dont seem to have time to sit and publish blog posts from home these
days, but, can find time for email. So, I've tried re-enabling my
email setting from blogger...and this is my test post! So many
updates, but I dont want to type for it to disappear to who knows

So, here goes nothing...

Wednesday, February 29, 2012


That stands for post partum depression/post partum anxiety. It's real. And it really sucks. Good news is that I am on the upswing. Just wanted to update since it's been a while. Meds are good and hormones are finally leveling out. I still haven't decided what to do about birth control. It seems so foreign to even consider, but, that damned endo. Ive been wanting everything to calm down before going down the hormonal road. So, going to see my Dr. next week to do a little more medication adjustment...and then, then I'll start looking into all that.

Thanks for the positive words from my last post! Hope you all are well. I'm playing catch up!!!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012


Yep. It does. Hormones suck too.

To be honest, I haven't felt worth a crap since I've had my son. Parenting is hard. Parenting when you arent 100% is even harder. But, I keep on telling myself things will get better. Things will even out. I finally got a Dr. to listen to me and run bloodwork. Looks like my Vitamin D is crazy out of whack. I'm hoping among hope that a simple vitamin will do the trick. I have my doubts.

Then, when I've got my head all wrapped around that problem, here comes my period. Oh the post partum periods. The first was so bad I almost passed out a few times from blood loss. The next time it was a breeze. "I can handle this" I said. Ugh. Today I woke up with overwhelming nausea. And, cramps. Here it comes. With a vengeance.

I've been tracking my craptastic feelings lately. They seem strangely hormonally related. All my docs think I'm crazy for thinking that. It's like 3 weeks out of the month, ick. The other week, I'm feeling SO good!!!

I called back today and asked them to run some tests on the blood they already drew to check my hormones. Why is it so unimaginable that it's related to my new cycles? Hell, I've been trying to have a baby and/or been on endo treatments since 2007!!! I've been pregnant every year (3 times) since 2009!!! Why WOULDN'T my body be out of whack?

Let's not even talk about the crazy in the HEAD feelings my hormones bring!!! One minute, super mom, the next a fumbling psycho who doesn't feel competent or worthy.

I'm on the brink of getting Mirena. WHY am I thinking adding hormones will help even me out. Does that sound insane?!?!

HELP ME LADIES! I want to feel somewhat normal. Somewhat sane. I want to be a good mother. I love my son and my new family. Help me rationalize through this.

Love you blogging community.