I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Friday, August 17, 2012

Hi there

It's been so long! I didn't even realize it's been since Feb since I've last posted.

Just this week we celebrated our little guy's first birthday. What a tremendous milestone!!! It was a very emotional day, but so wonderful. I can hardly believe time has flown by so quickly. It really does fly! We've of course tried to savor each and every moment...even through difficult times.

Tredding on Endo waters again. That hasn't been so fun. Finally got my PPD under control and feel like a different woman...a good 1-1 1/2 weeks out of the month. Then ovulation comes, and this WALL of
exhaustion overcomes my life, nausea and anxiety. All that seems to subside with the actual period (who knew?!?!), and then life is wonderful again until my cycle hits that certain point.

I'm not on any BC at this point. I held off because I wanted to get the PPD under control before takling on more hormones or whatever to the mix. The time is now to decide. I have an appointment with my OBGYN in 3 weeks to discuss the state of the nether-regions, and to discuss whether she thinks that hormones could possibly help to ease my symptoms. I just want to be normal! Hmmm...that sounds familiar.

Just today I had a PT appointment, and she worked some on my pelvis because I've been having low back and sciatica pain recently. She touched spots that sent me jumping off the table, and now I'm SO nauseaus.

It seems the journey is starting over again. I knew it was coming. I could tell right after I had our son.

Im so conflicted about going on hormones. I'm not sure I want to try again for another one. It was emotionally exhausting. It's not like we can "not try"...how can someone that knows their body so well do
that?!?!? And I don't want to go crazy every month wondering...then the disappoinment. I'm not sure it's worth it. But, the other part of me thinks, "THIS IS THE TIME, NOW OR NEVER". This is something my
DH and I will be discussing over the next few weeks so I will be prepared when I see the Dr.

We will NOT be going through IVF again. Our son was our last shot. We were blessed with him on our final go round, and, I'm just not going there again. Not that it was a horrible experience, just don't want to GO there.

Hope you are all doing well. I've seen some wonderful updates...and see I need to update pages that I follow!


katery said...

sorry to hear the endo is rearing it's ugly head. i have chosen to take birth control pills, skipping the remider pills and just moving on to the next pack to avoid any periods at all, it is fantastic. but, if you plan to try and have another baby the old fashioned way i guess it's not really an option for you. either way, i hope you figure something out to keep it under control. good luck!

Sonja K. Peterson said...

I'm sorry to hear that your symptoms are coming back :( *hugs*

Rebecca said...

IVF was hard on me too. It brought mental and physical pain as well as flare ups for each IVF.