I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

This is a special announcement brought to you by hormones

Aygestin is making me feel extra special crazy and bitchy this time around.

Thank you, that is all.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


It's been a bit insane around here-we've moved! Finally! :) In our new home, and loving it. Sometimes it gets a little sad, because it's a large home and I look around and wonder if we can fill it with little ones. Or a little one. We'd be happy with that.

Just a quick update. Saw the RE. My ovary is so dysfunctional that the endometrioma has kinda died off-it's not being fed. So, that was good news. Wasn't it? Dysfunctional...not so much. No mass...definitely! We are going to try for the last time this year in November for our FET. A little too close to Wyatt's bday for my comfort, but, such is the way of things sometimes. Starting my shots at the end of next month, so, on a little Ay.gestin break right now.

Thanks for all of the thoughts! Heading to Atlanta this weekend for Resolve's FIRST Walk of Hope! If you'd like to support our team (What they didn't teach you in sex ed), check out , this link,!!! :)

Monday, September 13, 2010


Today is Day 1.  And, I'm torn about what to do.  This is supposed to be the mega cycle...our grand finale.  And now, I don't know what to do.  I am going to call the clinic today and talk with the nurse.  She needs to fax all the prescriptions to my insurance company so we can figure out what's covered and if we can even afford this right now.  You see, we are in the middle of a move.  Our movers come tomorrow.  And, with moving, there are lots of lilttle things here and there to pay for. 
AND, I am not sold on taking all these meds LIKE I'm doing an IVF cycle...but without the retrieval.  Seems kinda silly to take all those drugs without doing the whole protocol, you know?  I am switching insurance for next year.  Technically, I can wait until Jan1, take all these medications, and do a fresh cycle.  Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
AND I don't know what's going on with this cyst and it's making me nervous.  Double Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh.
I may just go on the Aygestin and wait a little bit while I sort through all the questions in my head...
To be continued...

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Endo T-shirts! Too cute!

Check it out HERE!

I just ordered one, very excited! Slightly expensive, but, I'm all over the awareness of it all!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Itchy itchy, scratchy scratchy

One of my flipping incisions is ITCHING like CRAZY tonight!!!! WHAT THE HECK?!?! This continues to baffle me. For those of you that don't know, THIS is what my incisions looked like in April 2009 after my 2nd laparoscopy and some weird reaction/infection.

Speaking of not normal, this cyst has got to be bigger. My nausea continues to increase. The stabbing pains are coming more frequently. Daym you endo. I say NO! You will not defeat me!

I'm ready for my next cycle to start so we can hopefully (finally) get this FET show on the road. I feel like it's our grand finale...and I'm ready to know how it turns out!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Infertility 101: Get the facts!

I got this list from www.resolve.org :

Infertility 101: Get the facts

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than 7.3 million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility.  Education is key to finding resolution.  

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!

Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.

Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.

A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.

Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!

Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.