I've been having "internal struggles" about the surgery. On the one hand I am thankful for what they were able to do in terms of saving my fertility and getting that show on the road. On the other hand, I'm filled with doubt and concern that my all too familiar symptoms will quickly return, putting me back in the OR within another 13 months if we are unable to conceive. I mean, there was a lot that was left untouched. This disease really sucks. They don't know much about endometriosis, so, cutting it all away I guess really isn't a reality anyway, especially with my extent of disease. A lot of it is microscopic, and, even the microscopic portions can cause pain and symptoms as I have felt before. And, even if they peel my organs apart, there's nothing stopping it from coming back. Birth control has proven pretty effective as far as pain management goes with endometriosis, but, there is nothing out there long term that keeps it from coming back. And, I can't take birth control-it causes adverse reactions. Lupron (ack!!!) acts in keeping the endometriosis from spreading, but, it's only approved for 2 6-month courses over your lifetime. And, we saw how well that worked for me, right? So, yeah. I know I should be grateful, but, part of me wishes they could have done more. I guess there is always more to be done, and, I should just keep my head up and forge forward. Which, I plan on doing, but, sometimes you stop to ponder these things along the way.
Healing continues. One of my incisions seems to be reverting back to nasty stage. I will not hesitate to call tomorrow. I had one of the nurses at work look at it today, and she agreed. Ughhhhh. My belly button still has a good amount of discharge...and, it's veering on the revert side two. My others seem to be doing very well; I am definitely thankful for that. And, thankful that I can wear scrubs to work!!! Those have been a lifesaver this week for sure!
Should You Tell People About Your Infertility?
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