I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

"Happy" New Year

Hello 2010.

It's a bittersweet greeting to welcome the new year. It's going to be a lot different of a year than we expected. Instead of welcoming in a new part of our family into this world, we are still grieving and saying goodbye. All the while trying to hold on to hope for the future. A future we shouldn't even be contemplating at this point. But, we cant change the path of our lives. We can't stop living. We have to try to look ahead and live each day.

2009 was both a blessed year and a terrible one at the same time. Most of it we are glad to leave behind. Some of it will never leave us (and we wouldn't want it to). Our past is what makes up who we are. It's woven and ingrained into our lives and helps to shape our future. A future we sometimes wish we could peek into to know what to expect, but, we unfortunately cannot. Or, maybe that's for the better that we can't.

We have many hopes and dreams for 2010. As you can imagine our biggest dream is of a family. Will 2010 be the year that our dream finally comes true? It was supposed to be. Maybe it still can be.

Here's to hoping for a wonderful 2010. For us, and, for you all!


Lisa said...

I hope 2010 has a far happier ending in store for you!

Nic said...

I really hope 2010 treats you and all of us better

Kelly said...

Happy New Year to you as well!

Red said...

What a lovely sentiment.

That is so true that if we knew what to expect in the future it would make today easier (hopefully).

Best wishes for 2010. I think it will be a good one.

sparkles1980 said...

I hope 2010 will b a better year 4 u!

JellyBelly said...

I really hope that 2010 is better than 2009, really can it get worse?

Happy New Year!

My Endo Journey said...

YIPES Jelly Belly-don't say that! ;) Yes, yes it probably could get worse! Shhhhhhh. LOL.

Anonymous said...

"Happy" New Year to you as well.

I'm sending you something in the mail this week.

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year! I hope great things are in store for you in this upcoming year!

Kelly said...

I hope that 2010 is a year full of joy for you. I admire your courage and hope in looking forward.

Happy New Year to you, too!

Alma and Paul said...

Really hoping 2010 brings blessings to you again...now you have an angel looking out for you.

Hope 2010 brings all us endo sisters one step (or hopefully a whole ladder) closer to our dreams.

What IF? said...

May this coming year and every year thereafter be filled with joy, peace, and good health. Thinking of you during this difficult time as you're grieving for Wyatt, and hoping that 2010 will be the year that your dreams come true.

Erika said...

Here's hoping for a happier 2010! At the very least, that it's the year that you find peace within yourselves.

Jeanne said...


You have shown tremendous grace and courage in the face of major adversity. May 2010 be a happier, healthier year for you! I'm sending positive energy your way!!


“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it”.
~~ Tori Amos

Eileen said...

You are always in my prayers girl. I am hoping that 2010 will be much kinder to us than 2009 was.