I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Oh, yes, hello there

Sorry I've been MIA...I really haven't been in the blogging/writing mood. Just wanted to type a quick update. The appointment with my RE went well. I love them. I do. She is going to consider running the tests, so, we'll see how that turns out. She wanted to get a few more pieces of information from the OB's office and to talk with the maternal and fetal med physicians. Waiting to hear back about that. It was great to talk with her and really go over everything. We had never really gotten into the "nitty gritty" details of losing Wyatt. We went from going to the OB's office for a pap to having to make very crucial decisions, then grieving and mourning. Just now are we in the right frame of mind to really begin piecing things together. As "together" as it will all get pieced that it.

Premature rupture of membranes was the ultimate cause of the loss of fluids. Why? Have no idea. The hematoma may or may not have played a role in them breaking. She's looking more into that for us as well. Apparently the hematoma was near my cervix...which didn't seem good from our conversation. But, she said that the hematoma didn't necessarily cause it. They'll never know really. Apparently, though, having my membranes prematurely break will put me at higher risk for future pregnancies. Fun...right?!?!

We talked about FET, Femara timed intercourse cycles, and, just trying on our own for a while. A full IVF cycle is out for us until next year if we choose or need to go that route. I will have another hydrosonogram in the next few weeks after my period. My RE is concerned about possible scarring from the retained placenta. She said it doesn't happen often, but, that she definitely wanted to check it all out. And also she wants to take a look at my ovaries. I'm very eager to have the scan done.

I've started having pains again. This time it's actually IN my uterus/cervical area. So, definitely eager to get that sonogram done! My ovary has been pretty painful too. Gotta love endo, right? Daym.

Okay, this was WAY longer than I had anticipated. More next week when I can feeling a bit more perky. :)


lis said...

it is a long, horrible, shit filled road isn't it? here's hoping that whatever we've been through will make us stronger and better mommies someday. im so not looking forward to the place you are in right now, but i also can't wait to start piecing things together and having a glimpse of what went wrong, though i know i will never really understand. i do know that i had PPROM as well, and thats what caused the leaking. as to what caused it, or answers to any of the other million questions...? sending you positivity, hope for the future and hugs. i hope someday it will all be easier.

Lizy said...

I heard the same story from my drs. They don't have any real answers. We are doing a FET but now after the 2nd D&C she wants to do another hydrosonogram and see about the scarring from the reatined placenta too. But we have to wait a couple cycles. Sending you a hug from a sunny day in Chicago.

Anonymous said...

good luck with the testing, i hope you get some answers.

Kelly said...

Hang in there...Us women are so lucky to have such complicated systems.

Expectant Duck said...

Sorry to hear of the endo pains, its so annoying, isn't it! This disease just wont quit. I am really hoping for a natural conception once you guys start trying again, and as hard as it sounds try not to worry too much about being categorized as high risk in the future (it means you will be watched more closely on bed rest earlier - not ideal but having someone follow you closely can be good).

Amanda and Tim said...

Glad to hear you are starting to get a few more answers, even if they are not what you really want to hear. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers xx

Jeanne said...


You don't owe anyone any apologies. You've been through so much. No one could blame you for not feeling up to writing.

I'm glad the RE appointment went well.

So how do they check for scarring there? Endometrial biopsy? I've had 2 of those.

I'm sorry for your pain!


Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you find some answers soon, nothing worse than not knowing.