We finally got the call about the test results we've been waiting on from Wyatt's cord blood...only because I harassed the OB until they called to get them from the hospital ;) Whatever gets the job done, right?
Everything came back 100% normal-no chromosomal abnormalities. While this obviously has us very relieved, we are also left with so many questions unanswered. I would never in a million years want anything to be wrong with our beautiful Wyatt. But, I was kinda hoping it wasn't all on the fact that my body enjoys to revolt against me.
So, we are left with the theory of the hematoma. More specifically a "retroplacental" hematoma. Why it happened or never went away is anyone's guess. There are theories, but, nothing that is concrete. It ranges from " it's just one of those things" to my endometriosis and it's possible role in interfering with implantation. The uncertainty is enough to drive anyone insane.
The rest of the work week was okay. No major hiccups. I never stop thinking about Wyatt. The thoughts get easier though. The pain is still very there-deep in my gut. I know that gut-wrenching sorrow will never fully go away. I don't expect it to. I don't really want it to either. I heard something very wise this week about how someone coped with their loss-when the time comes that you need to grieve, immerse yourself in that moment and grieve so you can move on until the next moment arises. Try not to push these moments aside and really just let them take you over. It really does help-pretty much sums up how I've been coping and grieving. I just thought it was interesting put into words like that.
We have an appointment on Tuesday with the RE...to discuss what happened and what is next. We won't be doing much this year in the way of IVF procedures, except for maybe a FET (frozen embryo transfer). We have two beautiful frosties waiting on us. We have maxed out our insurance on fertility procedures. It really didn't take much. Really. Next year I can roll over to my insurance which will cover an additional $25K if needed. But, that's another year. It'll be interesting to say the least. I have to re-invest faith in my body and it's capabilities. Whatever they may be. We'll see how the apt goes. I'm glad to be going back to such an amazing team. I need that familiarity and compassion right now.
Thank you all for your continuing support!
#MicroblogMondays 139: Wind Phones
21 hours ago