Today I am 7dp5dFET (12dp"o"). Technically the HCG shot should be out of my system and I could start POAS. But, I just can't do it. Why? There are several reasons. The biggest reason is that pregnancy test sticks are EVIL. I've only seen a positive pregnancy test once...that was about 7 weeks into my last pregnancy when I started bleeding. Other than that, there are never two lines. There is never "pregnant" staring me back in the face. It's too much rejection! Expensive rejection!!
Another reason is our experience with a "chemical" pregnancy. So what if it says "Pregnant". Am I really? Only for a few days? I want to see the numbers...if there are numbers to be seen. I need the cold hard facts. Maybe that's the researcher in me.
Then, there's the fact that Thanksgiving is a mere 2 days away. We didn't so much have a good Thanksgiving last year. I spent the majority of the evening in the ER with post partum bleeding that was eventually remedied with a D&C. We want to enjoy the holiday, blissfully ignorant of our results. We are going to be with family and friends all weekend. If we needed time to be to ourselves, there wouldn't be much time for that. We will count our blessings and be thankful that we have even been given this opportunity. And to continue to be thankful for the things that we do have in our lives.
So, I will try to not drive myself insane (sometimes that's hard, lol), wondering what's going on in there. I do have a few symptoms, but, those could very easily be attributed to the progesterone and estrogen that I am on. I just have to trust that if there is something beautiful happening inside of me, right now, I am doing all that I can do.