I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Updates and New Years Ponderings

I had another US on Friday-my endometrioma has grown another few cm...now at 4x4. I had 2 mature follicles and went ahead with the ovidrel last night. I hope and pray if I do get pregnant that it all ends up where it's supposed to in my uterus. I'm still a little nervous about going through the process without the HSG, but, I dunno...I dunno! I have two friends that went through Clomid without HSG's as a first line infertility treatment, and all was good. I'm just really hoping it'll all be okay. Maybe a stupid move on my part, but, we'll see.

I've got an apt on Tuesday with ANOTHER RE clinic; my husband and I are really tired of the quality of service we are receiving where we are now. I'm not burning any bridges just in case this other Dr. doesn't give us the warm fuzzies either, but, we need to look at our options. It all started with the lack of detail we were given about this treatment (we were left thinking I was just going to take a pill and have TI) to this HSG thing. My Dr. was back in the clinic on Weds of this week...no one EVER called me to apologize for the f* up or plan something new....give me reasons...nothing! When I spoke to the nurse on Friday, she said some more inappropriate things (someone needs to tell her what is professional to say, and what isn't). After that conversation I called the nurse line and said I'd like a call back, from the Dr. himself. Or, that I needed an apt set up to come and speak with him. The clinical manager did call me back, but, after 5:30 and I missed her call. She said she'd call me first thing Monday AM-good, I'll be ready to have a very detailed conversation with her.

So, here starts our weekend and TI (yesterday, today and Sunday); then a 2 WW. My test date is 1/16 or 1/17/2009. Maybe we'll get successfully pregnant (where it needs to be, etc) and won't have to worry about any new RE's, HSG's, and all the rest of this mess!!!

Meanwhile, I constantly have this 4x4 endometrioma on my mind. It's grown almost 2 cm in a MONTH. It's definitely not a slow process, and, I just know if we aren't successful soon, too, I'll be back in the OR. Dang endometriosis!!!!! I've noticed lately that nearing ovulation, there is a lot of pressure in my abdomen and when I have to use the restroom (urinate or other), there is a pang of pain that I have to work through in order to use my muscles to go. Diaphragm has been acting up too (same time EVERY cycle-starts around day 9 through ovulation!).

As this new year begins, I am really very thankful for so much in my life. I'm thankful for this disease not completely running my life. Although it's on my mind constantly, I definitely don't have all bad days, and I'm VERY thankful for that. I am thankful for caring friends and family, especially for my husband. I am really not sure how he puts up with me sometimes. I pray that I will always try to keep a positive attitude, no matter where my life takes me and will keep my heart open to the options that are out there for us as we continue to journey towards parenthood.

I hope this new year is full of life, love, happiness and (good) HEALTH for us all!!!


Amanda said...

Thinking of you lots and keeping you in my prayers. Here's hoping things go as planned for you and that you get some proper answers from the dr soon.

Jeanne said...

I wish you the best of luck at the RE appt (but more importantly trying to get pregnant)!

I'm SO sorry you're going through so much!

I just saw your FB blog network and I'm about to join it right now.


P.S. Good for you -- looking for an RE who gives you proper treatment!! It's so important for patients to advocate for themselves!

Squidgeaboo said...

Hugs and prayers

Your husband is probably doing for you exactly what you would do for him if the situation were reversed. (I know, it's hard to accept sometimes! A hug and thanks never seems to do it justice!)
I struggle with it as well. Just trust that he loves you that much.

Anonymous said...

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you - I hope this cycle works out for you guys.

Anonymous said...

Good luck!!!!!!