I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

"Drunken" post

I just got back from my EGD. It went well-super easy. I got the medicines, and, slowly drifted to sleep. When I cam to I was in my curtain room waiting to get dressed! Much MUCH easier than a colonoscopy. He said there was a good bit of irritation and he took a couple of biospies from those sites.

Before the procedure we talked right quick about recent constipation I've had. He definitely feels that it endo related (probably the tummy issues b/c of the colon stuff), since my colon is all sorts of jacked up because of it. It's been more and more difficult to handle lately. He suggested taking some miralax to help move things along.

So, just a bunch of waiting now. I guess it normally takes 2 weeks for this stuff to come through?

Okay, off to a wonderful nap! Thanks everyone!

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


Dude, seriously, that is a LONG word! How about EGD? I'm having one tomorrow, so, please send some good vibes this way. I've been having issues with heartburn since an antibiotic round back in December, and, just a lot of stomach and nausea issues lately (and negative ultrasound and gallbladder scan). Finally, enough was enough and this procedure was scheduled. I'm so glad, but, nervous at the same time. I definitely don't want anything wrong, but, I'd like some answers or relief! I know my endo has a lot to do with some of it, but, who knows.

I'll try to update tomorrow! Procedure is nice and early!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

My first "green" smoothie!

I made our first green smoothie this AM! Well, "green". It was more of a purple brown color. Here's what I did, and, it's yummy!!!

2 big, overflowing handfuls of spinach (I think you are supposed to work up to 5 cups pureed, but, baby steps!)
Ripe banana
Couple piece of frozen Mango
Little bagful of blueberries I had frozen (probably about 1/2 cup)
handful of frozen berries mix (strawberry, blackberry)
splash of OJ

I don't have a big fancy blender, so, I food processed the spinach first with a splash of OJ. I poured that into the blender carafe (I can't think of what else you call it). Then I pureed the fruit with another splash of OJ, combined it in the blender with the spinach, and WAHLAH! :)

Delicious, and nutritious!

I'll get more adventurous with other greens like kale and cabbage later...

Friday, July 25, 2008

Officially cycling off

Today should have been shot #5. So, here we go!!! Nervous, but, excited about what the next few months will bring. My pain has already return in some respects, especially pertaining to a full abdomen. When I wake up in the morning, it's particularly "pressured" when I use the restroom. Not pain per say, but, just feels like there is something squeezing down on things. Uncomfortable let's say.

Anyway, my Dr. said it could take around 8 weeks (could be sooner, could be longer) to get my cycle back. And, it's okay to start trying right away to have a little one. So, wish us luck!!! We have been ready for a family, and, are excited for an opportunity to.

Next week I have an endoscopy-see what's going on in that front. I had to stop my nexium today...not looking forward to next week and not being on that. Am glad that they are going to check things out. AND, glad it's something that we can hear most of the results right away. That'll be nice too. I'm ready for Thursday to be over with. ACK, I can't go in until 11:45. I'm going to starve. Hehe.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

What's next?

Some questions for my RE or GYN (or maybe you) as I prepare to come off Lupron are:

  • How long will it take to get my cycle back?
  • Is it okay to go ahead and try right away, or, should we wait a while? Any known toxicities from the meds with having a child right away?
  • What should I expect these next few months? Is it like coming off the pill? What is my body going to go through? Will I even notice the changes?

I really hope that things cleared up, and, Lupron did it's 'thang. I wonder-I've been having a tender stomach still (off and on). When I first get up in the morning and empty my bladder...or, anytime during the day when my bowels are full-I wonder. It causes a lot of tenderness and pressure in my lower abdomen. I REALLY REALLY hope Lupron did it's 'thang!

I'll start cycling off after Friday I suppose (that's when I should have had my next shot). Maybe I'm being a wuss by stopping. I dunno. 4 months was better than their initial recommendation of at least 3. I just don't like the woozy it's been causing (perhaps the Aygestin was aiding in that?)? Oh, I do know one thing about the Aygestin, it did a FABULOUS job in helping to decrease the side effects from this medication. Only recently have I been having very noticeable hot flashes and night sweats. I was just sitting here a few minutes ago and it was like someone had light a match inside...I actually started to sweat! It was tolerable though. Nothing I wouldn't mind putting up with over pain. But, the woozy freaks me out. Call me nutty.

Friday, July 18, 2008

A little deviation from the norm

Daily reflection-my blessings:

I just wanted to share how blessed I feel to have my husband in my life. No matter what the day brings-he's there for me. And, I know it. I never doubt it. The good, the bad, the ugly. Through sickness and health. As unlucky as I've felt recently, I couldn't have been luckier in finding him. He defines unconditional love. His patience and understanding astounds me. Sure, we have our moments and he loses his cool or just can't handle my mood swings or whatever is going on at the moment-he'd be completely un-human if that was the case. But, at the end of the day (and the beginning and middle and end), he's there for me, and, I know he always will be. I love you Wes!!!

I really don't know where I'd be without my family and friends. This past year has really just been awful so far (endo stuff, house flood/now mold, family deaths, etc, etc, etc)-and, my friends/family have just been amazing. From phone calls to fun little gifts in the mail, I am constantly being lifted by the support that surrounds me. Even though they don't "understand" what I'm going through, they see my pain and feel it too.

And, my blogger friends...the type of support that I have found here is just fantastic. It's so great to come here and share my feelings, and, have someone understand it. Just to have someone to share my experiences with has really helped to make things more bearable.

Thank you everyone!!!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tender tummy and ponderings

Off and on this weekend (most notably on Friday evening) my abdomen has been sore to the touch-tender. Now, I've been off the Aygestin about 2 weeks now? (Has it been that long..) I wonder if that was really helping to mask my endo pain? I have noticed that my bowels are full when the tenderness occurs, which, really bothers me. I want that sh*t GONE!!!

I was "woozy" a couple of times again too. Not like before, but, just enough to be annoying. And, still the sciatica pain...especially the past two weeks with all the traveling we've done.

I've been thinking about some things...wondering if anyone out there has any thoughts. We are (obviously) gearing up to start trying to have a baby, once my cycle returns. My thoughts are racing back and forth about what endo remains, and, what kind of impact a pregnancy will have on it. I know pregnancy is good for endo, in meaning that while you are pregnant, your body gets a period of rest from the growth and disaster. But, what about what's already there? My stomach gets sore when my bowels are full...sometimes my bladder too. What happens when we add a baby to the area? I mean, does the pain just stop-I find that hard to believe.

Lots of what ifs. It's been a hard couple of weeks, wondering if I'm doing the right thing about stopping the Lupron, and, wondering what's next. I know it's out of my hands, but, sometimes you just can't help all the thoughts.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Woozy's back/HIDA results

Hopefully for a very short stint (ie, gone by the morning). I was folding and hanging clothes and noticed the dizzy coming back-had to stop the motion of bending over into the dryer and turning to hang them up. I just took some dizzy pills and I'm just chilling now. Hopefully this will fade soon! The tingles are there too-tingles in my shoulders and neck.

Still having sciatica pains...seems to linger after longer car rides. This weekend we'll be driving for about 6.5 hours-we'll have to be sure to make lots of stops!

My stomach is also REALLY bothering me the past two days. It's always "bothered" me-well, not always but for months now (pre-Lupron). It's lower left abdomen, then, higher up in my stomach. I heard back from the HIDA scan-all is well with my gallbladder. So, next step is an endoscopy, and it couldn't get here any sooner. I am MISERABLE tonight-my stomach is achy and up near my rib cage is that awful pressure. I actually have the feeling in my throat tonight too-that doesn't usually happen. ::sigh:: I also took a prevacid (in addition to my regular daily nexium).

Sunday, July 6, 2008

Feeling better it seems

Still have some headaches-I really think those are tension related. My dizzy head got better as the weekend progressed. Friday I was still a little woozy-not so much Sat and today. Hopefully it has passed. I've been off the Aygestin (add back) since Tuesday or Weds...keep your fingers crossed.

I must note that I've had some on/off ankle pain-sometimes it feels like I've really just snapped it in half. That feeling lasts a few minutes, and, comes and goes. My face still looks like a little pizza too-that comes and goes too as far as how bad it gets.

Thanks everyone for your support. I couldn't get through all of this without you. I'm starting to get nervous about what's "next" for me...for us. I pray the pain will stay away as I ween off the shots (I hear that might could take months to start cycling again)-for a long time I hope it stays away! But, who knows how long that'll last. All the unknown is just really nerve racking...so, being "done" with the shots will be bittersweet. I still have about 2 1/2-3 weeks until this one will START to fade-so-I guess just a little premature worry? I'm almost 100% sure I'm not going to take shots 5 and 6. I know I'm feeling better-but I think these past two weeks were a sign for me....