I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Monday, July 14, 2008

Tender tummy and ponderings

Off and on this weekend (most notably on Friday evening) my abdomen has been sore to the touch-tender. Now, I've been off the Aygestin about 2 weeks now? (Has it been that long..) I wonder if that was really helping to mask my endo pain? I have noticed that my bowels are full when the tenderness occurs, which, really bothers me. I want that sh*t GONE!!!

I was "woozy" a couple of times again too. Not like before, but, just enough to be annoying. And, still the sciatica pain...especially the past two weeks with all the traveling we've done.

I've been thinking about some things...wondering if anyone out there has any thoughts. We are (obviously) gearing up to start trying to have a baby, once my cycle returns. My thoughts are racing back and forth about what endo remains, and, what kind of impact a pregnancy will have on it. I know pregnancy is good for endo, in meaning that while you are pregnant, your body gets a period of rest from the growth and disaster. But, what about what's already there? My stomach gets sore when my bowels are full...sometimes my bladder too. What happens when we add a baby to the area? I mean, does the pain just stop-I find that hard to believe.

Lots of what ifs. It's been a hard couple of weeks, wondering if I'm doing the right thing about stopping the Lupron, and, wondering what's next. I know it's out of my hands, but, sometimes you just can't help all the thoughts.


Duck said...

Believe it or not I think the pain would go away. I have all kinds of growths and scar tissues, and really it's a disaster in there, put me on the pill continuously and within a month, I feel no pain (but I also made major changes to what I eat). I do know that there is a higher chance for miscarriages in women with endo (something about a more toxic environment?). That being said lots of women with endo get pregnant and carry to term without any problems.

Deb said...

Haven't commented for awhile, but wanted to give you hope and assurance that I think a pregnancy can happen - and can make a big difference in the way you feel.

I've most recently had a really bad "bout with endo," but have suffered from it for years. Shortly after my first lap (where I got "cleaned up"), I became pregnant with my daughter. My pregnancy was wonderful and I felt so great. None of the annoying problems from before (and it seemed like, while my periods were bad, I always felt bad in general). When most women complain about morning sickness, feeling uncomfortable, I was like "can I be pregnant forever?"

I did the six months of Lupron (had my last shot on July 3), after having a large endometrioma (attached to my intestines; "frozen pelvis"; part of the ovary removed). I'm hoping it helps clean stuff up so we can have a second child.

My advice is to stay hopeful. I really pray that everything works out for you. As I'm sure you often feel, women with endo have such little control over their lives ... how they feel, fear about getting pregnant, etc. It's a tough road, but I'm certain it's part of a greater plan and brings out some of the best qualities (faith, sympathy for others, etc.).

Anonymous said...

Hmm...I don't know about the pain. Hopefully, without the hormonal stimulus the pain would regress.

I was diagnosed with stage iv endo as well, and I completely understand the pain. I opted for major surgery instead of the lupron.

Good luck with your fertility path!

Anonymous said...

Getting pregnant with my first was the best thing for my endo. Seriously. Once I had him, my periods become regular, they didn't hurt. My PMS even leveled out. It wasn't until after I had my daughter (the surge of estrogen to my system, perhaps?) that things went haywire. After I had my son, though, my gyno said "now don't have anymore and you should be good until menopause." I'm wondering if she would've been right.

My Endo Journey said...

Thanks guys! It just seems so strange to me that when/if we add a baby to the mix, it won't be causing pressure and tenderness. I'll have to ask the gyno next time I'm there...not sure when that'll be. I did call them today and tell them shot #5 is a no go...

Cathleen, what kind of "major" surgery did you have?

Yes, I hope that the lap and the lupron have created a more favorable environment for conception...we'll see...

God Bless and good luck to those out there trying!!!

Mel said...

I just stumbled on your blog and wanted to say that I also have stage IV endo and so relate to the pain you describe, especially the pressure in the abdomen and sciatica pain. I just had an open abdominal myomectomy to excise the endo and to remove 4-5 fibroids. My uterus, bowel, and left ovary were stuck together. Anyway, I am hoping to try for a baby in the coming months, once I recover from the surgery. I wish you the best of luck! It's comforting to know that I'm not the only one dealing with all of these mysterious pains. It took me 6-7 years to get a diagnosis of endo.

My Endo Journey said...

Hey Mel! Wow, fibroids on top of all the endo stuff. OUCH! I know my cyst hurt like a b*tch-I can't imagine having fibroids too. Bless us all!!!

Thanks for responding. It's so comforting to know there are others out there. I hate your suffering, but, I'm thankful for the bonds and sanity it can help bring by talking with others! Good luck in the next few months! How long has it been since you've had surgery?