I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Saturday, November 14, 2009

Thankful

Can one be THANKFUL for endometriosis? Well, maybe not the disease itself, but, maybe the experiences that I have encountered because of it? I am not normally a "calm" person. I'm a worrier by nature...always have been. I think because of the things I've gone through in the past few years, I've gotten a little better with my worry! And, I think I am more grateful for the things that one SHOULD be grateful for, but, that most may take for granted sometimes. I'm not perfect, by ANY means. I still have "woe is me" moments, but, I have those personal experiences to reflect on and realize it's not so bad.

We had another fright this week when I started bleeding like crazy (soaked through two pads in 45 minutes before we got to the OB's office) and cramping. Everything turned out to be "okay". Seems I have a growth in my cervix that is the culprit. They did a pap and we are currently waiting on the results of that. If that comes back abnormal, I'll have to have a biopsy done to remove the growth and send it off to path. If the bleeding doesn't stop soon, they'll have to cauterize the area. In the meantime I'm in "take it easy" mode as to not irritate the area further. While I am definitely concerned by all of this, I've mainted this odd sense of calmness that I can only attribute to having gone through so many "unknowns" in the past with my endo. The baby is fine and completely oblivious to the chaos that surrounds it.

So, while I am NOT thankful for endometriosis, I am thankful for my strength and attitude that has come from my past experiences. As the time of being "thankful" approaches, what is one thing you are thankful for in your life?

5 comments:

Kelly said...

Well said! I am not thankful for endo. but for the strength it has given me. It takes great strength to deal with it daily.

ps. glad that you are okay after your scare!

Jennifer said...

Wow, that sounds completely terrifying and I'm so happy that everything is okay.

I'm thankful that I'm able to go to school right now and that I'm succeeding. I've started and stopped school so many times and am thrilled that God blessed me with perseverance this time around.

Nic said...

So pleased baby is ok but sorry they have found a growth. Hope it comes back as nothing to worry about.
Well done fo rkeeping calm. I am not sure I could!

Amanda and Tim said...

I am holding you in my prayers and hoping that the bleeding ends soon!!

We don't have Thanksgiving in the UK but I often fall back into "thankful" mode when things get so bad I feel there is nothing to be thankful for... the only way out of such slumps is to find something you can be thankful for...

Yesterday I found out that a friend of mine died following surgical complications. It was a friend I had only met in person once, having had a number of years' distance friendship before that. She was a wonderful lady and touched so many people's lives, including my own, and I cannot help but be thankful for all the people who love and inspire me... there are far more people in this world who inspire me than who cause me grief or worry. It really is amazing how much gratitude you can find from seemingly "painful" experiences, like the endo, however awful, can really bring you so much more in many ways.

Sonja said...

*hugs*

I too have found after my endo/adeno battle that things don't get to me as much.

We learned we can deal with anything. We don't fall into drama or freaking out. We've learned what we're really made out of.

Wishing you the best!