I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

In loving memory of Wyatt

The prayer service was SO amazing today! Father Toole and Deacon King led the service. Rita from the bereavement ministry at church put it all together for us; I am so thankful that we didn't have to worry about arranging everything. The church and it's ministries have been such a blessing for us during this time. I am so thankful for everything everyone from there has done for us. Strangers-reaching out their hearts to help the peace in ours. Touching.

I don't even know how to begin to describe the service. There were three readings. Weston's brother Nathan did one of them for us. We weren't prepared to see if family wanted to do the readings; so Rita did another and a dear blessing Megan (from the Elizabeth ministry who came to the hospital with Wyatt's beautiful gown) did the other. There was no music but the silence was actually quite lovely and gave us time to say some prayers and just have our hearts be still and be with God and with Wyatt.

Father Toole gave an amazing sermon-it was so personal. He is such a wonderful speaker. We are so thankful that he was there today. He spoke about Wyatt being in peace with God; and that through this tragedy that Weston and I should really go back to our vows to one another for comfort. "In sickness and in health" and the promises we made to one another to be there for each other and to lift each other up everyday. We are so blessed to have each other to lean on through all of this, in addition to all of our family and friends. Wyatt is with God and in heaven; and we are comforted to know he is at peace in his new home. He is not suffering. He is looking down on us and Father Toole said Wyatt is proud of his parents for being there for one another. He also spoke of how special it was for Weston to have baptized Wyatt after his birth in the hospital. Something we will always be able to hold closely to our hearts, especially for Weston as something between father and son.

At the end of the service, Weston and I sprinkled holy water over Wyatt's ashes. We walked together with his ashes and Weston placed them under the tabernacle for now to be close to Jesus.

Father Toole echoed the words we already knew-that we will always be parents. And Wyatt will always be our son. I will always be a mother. Weston will always be a father. We love that and will cherish it forever. As much as we wish he was here with us, we are glad that he is not suffering in any way. We would love nothing more than to have Wyatt still in my tummy growing and developing. But, we know that he is in a wonderful place. The same peace that we saw on our son's beautiful face we are trying desperately to feel in our hearts. We know that time will help bring that peace. For now we are holding on to our memories and the beautiful words that were spoken today in memory and honor of our son, Wyatt Landry.

On the small pedestal right in the front is where our son's ashes were during the service

This was the beautiful arrangement that my coworkers sent that was at the service

We took the flowers and rearranged them
The initialed angels are from some good friends Megan and Jonathan


Yaya said...

:( *tears*
This made me cry. It sounds so so lovely and wonderful, yet my heart continues to break for you.

Nic said...

What a beautiful ceremony. I am so sorry that he is not with us but pleased he is at peace. Thinking of u. Take care x

Lauren, Daniel, James and baby Brendan. said...

It sounds like an amazing tribute for your angel! Everything you write is so true. So glad your church community is helping you navigate this journey. You are not alone. I know I am leaving you about a million comments. I just want to honor Wyatt by reading about him, and let you know that we're still thinking and praying each day.

Anonymous said...

i'm glad that you had such a lovely service and even happier that you found some comfort in it. you are in my thoughts.

Allison said...

Sounds like you had a beautiful service for Wyatt. I think that it is wonderful you have found a good support system in this dark time.

Nic said...

Thanks for your message. I didn't expect you to know about my surgery after all you are dealing with.
I had a laparoscopy, had my endo excised, my utero ligaments removed, my appendix out and my liver biopsied! Am in quite a bit of pain as major surgery. Was out for 4hours!
Hope ur ok. Thinking of u in this sad time.

Yaya' s Changing World said...

Know that my heart aches for your loss. What a beautiful way to hold your little one in your heart.

My prayers meet with so many others to help you in this time.

~ Yaya

~ Yaya
Yaya's Changing World

Amanda and Tim said...

I am so glad that the ceremony was so beautiful and meant so much to you. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers xx

Yaya said...

I just posted a dancing vlog. It's sure to make you at least smile. :)

Katie said...

It sounds like a beautiful service. Sending you prayers of comfort and peace.

Lisa said...

What a beautiful tribute to Wyatt. I'm glad to hear you have such supportive and wonderful people in your life to help you through this time.

Jeanne said...


That is just beautiful. I am really glad that you felt comfort at this difficult time and that you are surrounded by supportive, caring people.

I am also so glad that you were able to see peace on Wyatt's face. That has to be a comfort.

I'm thinking of you and Weston. I couldn't stop thinking about you yesterday. I'm sending positive energy your way and you're in my thoughts and prayers.


Kate said...

So glad the service was beautiful and helpful for you both. It sounds like you're going to have amazing support as you go through the rough times ahead.

Sylvia said...

Dear Allison & Weston,
I just want to let you know what a privilege it was for me to attend the beautiful prayer service for your sweet baby, Wyatt. Fr. Toole is amazing and his words were so touching. I became a bereavement minister because I want to be there, especially for bereaved parents. I have 2 angels that are in heaven. I feel grateful that I was given 21 years with Debbie who was 16 weeks pregnant and 25 years with my son, Michael. They left too soon, but I am grateful and cherish that I was given the memories. I am so glad that Meghan asked me to come and we were there to represent our parish family. Meghan and her husband Michael are a blessing in my life and I know Meghan will be there for you, as very few can. I will keep you in my prayers, always! Hugs & Love, Sylvia

Red said...

What a lovely service. Your support from those people sounds incredible.

What IF? said...

It must bring such comfort during this excruciatingly difficult time to be surrounded and supported by so many caring, wonderful people. The ceremony sounds beautiful.

Wyatt couldn't have asked for more amazing, strong parents. My thoughts are with you and Weston as you navigate the weeks and months ahead without your beautiful son in your daily life. Sending you peace and comfort.

AshPash said...

Oh my goodness. I just popped over...I had no idea about your loss. Words cannot express how very sorry I am to learn this news. The pain must be excrutiating. Sending you strength.