A pretty good friend tonight announced her pregnancy. And, although I am excited, of course I am a little envious (dang you envy!). But, as hard as it was for me to hear, can you imagine how hard it was for her to tell me?!? Being the friend of an infertile must be pretty hard sometimes too!!! She's been trying to tell me for a few weeks now, and, she never could get around to it. I hate that. I don't want to be some bitter lady that can't take the wonderful news of the friends around her. That's not why she couldn't get around to it, I just don't want to be perceived in that manner. You know?
For me, it's not a "Why her"; it's just the "Why not me" part. I am not mad, hurt, angry. How can I be?!? It's a beautiful blessing and I truly am elated for my friend and her husband. I had just never thought about the flip side...about having to tell an infertile friend about your upcoming pregnancy. It's bittersweet, I'm sure.
I hope that I can be making wondrous announcements soon as well. Oh, how I really am longing to pee on that stick under the cabinet. I will remain strong. It will only drive me more batty if I know either way. For now, I'll just pretend my constipation, sore boobs, slight nausea and cravings are those of a pregnant woman.
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