Changes...and I'm not talking about the leaves!

It's been a very hard fall for us.  Time marches on.  Last year at this time, I was into my 2nd trimester, blissfully unaware of the tragedy that laid before us.  My how a year can change so dramatically.  Life moves forward, even when you don't want it to.  Sometimes I feel like life is moving forward all around us, while, we are stuck in the same gear we have been for years.  There have been some changes our way though.  We sold our house, built a new one, and moved in.  It was nice for a while to have something to look forward to.

 

We've attempted several FET's this year, but, nothing has worked out so far.  Here we are, "moving forward" again in this regard, yet, I still feel like we are standing still.  I will start a new course of medication in 9 days.  In 9 days, a new cycle of hope begins.  In 9 days we wonder again how far will we get this time?  Can we make it to a transfer day?  Will the embies thaw?  So many ups and downs ahead of us this next month, all the while as we walk hand in hand into our 4th year of marraige and also as we prepare to "celebrate" our son's first "birthday".  It's a crazy, hormone filled fall that is upon us.  We are ready to know the outcome.  Ready to know what lies ahead and what steps we will be taking next.  Is this a road that will lead to parenthood here on earth, or, more devestation and heartache?  We can't hurry up time and see what is waiting for us.  We can only hope and pray.