I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Time flies when you are "having fun"?

Wow. I just looked at my ticker. 8 months today. Wow. Wow. Wow. Has it really been 8 months? Seriously, where does time go?

I had the most real and sad dream last night/this AM. How fitting is that timing? I was 32-34 weeks pregnant. We were at some sort of function, and my water broke. I knew I needed to get to the hospital, but, my grandmother was there and she was taking FOREVER to get ready. For some reason in my head, I had to get there within the hour. Then, I woke up. And realized I was NOT pregnant. Then, the tears and pitted feeling in my stomach all day, in addition to my endo pain.

My grandmother taking forever-our wait in this journey to fertility?
Getting there within the hour-my growing impatience with this process?
My water breaking-my broken spirit as of late?

I miss you Wyatt.

7 comments:

Allison (Ali) said...

my thoughts are with you today. i too am having a lot of "tired of waiting" feelings lately.

hugs

Anonymous said...

(((hugs)))

Nic said...

I cant believe it has been 8 months. I am sorry about your dream.
x

Jess said...

{{{HUGS}}} Praying for you as you miss your little Wyatt.

Anonymous said...

Dreams really do get right into those things we have been holding in and bring them right to the fore, don't they? Continuing to think of you xx

Jeanne said...

Allison,

I'm sorry for your pain and I'm thinking of you. <3

Jeanne

Nadine said...

hugs.