I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Just wanted to share

I heard something last night at our group counseling session that I really liked and really summed up how I've been feeling lately...and I wanted to share because I'm sure a lot of you out there would agree!

"I don't mean to rain on your parade, but, I'm not ready to march in it with you yet."

This pretty much sums up how I've been feeling lately with ALL the pregnancy announcements and birth announcements flying our way. Exactly how I feel. I am so happy for others, but, at the same time it's hard because I am not happy for us (being without Wyatt that is). This can be the same feeling without a loss too. I've felt this way for a while now actually, but, losing Wyatt definitely brings an extra sting to the equation.

9 days. That should be my "due date" countdown right now. 9 days. Wow. We've come a long way since that fateful day in November when my countdown stopped. But, still a long long way to go.

16 comments:

Lauren, Daniel, James and baby Brendan. said...

I love the quote. It is very powerful and such a great way to put it. Thank you for sharing. My heart still aches for you and you remain included in my morning and evening prayers. I don't think I have commented in a while, and I want to let you know that you are on my mind. Wishing I was there to give you a big hug. Words still seem inadequate. Keep being strong! You are the hero of so many, including me.

allisyn said...

i'm still praying for you guys all the time :)

cgd said...

That comment is so perfect, I have felt that way for well over 2 years already.
I am thinking of you as you approach your due date.
Carrie

JellyBelly said...

I'm having one of those "not wanting to march" days myself.

Sending you hugs!

Beckie's Infertile said...

What a great saying! Thanks for sharing. Adding it to my pile of future facebook status comments.

j said...

i know your pain all too well. my friend gave birth pretty close to my due date. the sadness can be terrible. sending you hugs and hope for the future.

Katie said...

Wow, that is so true. What a good way of putting it!

Thinking of you as your due date approaches. (((hugs)))

Sonja said...

That's a great quote.

Thinking of you, your husband, and Wyatt <3

Nic said...

Am thinking of you at this difficult time. I really wish you were counting down the 9 days for a happy reason.
Take care x

katery said...

i am thinking of you, i don't know exactly how you feel but i know how i felt when i heard birth announcements while i was trying to get pregnant. i hope it is your turn soon.

alexandra said...

i feel your pain. today i was driving home and i thought to myself, i should almost be 6 months by now. my original due date was july 27, 2010. stay strong. i know it's hard.

Jeanne said...

Allison,

I'm thinking of you and sending you positive energy.

Jeanne

naturallyU said...
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彭志文 said...
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Red said...

That is a great saying. I will be thinking of you on your due date. I wish things were so different for you right now.

Allison (Ali) said...

that saying is so very true. thinking of you and wyatt as your due date approaches.