I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Thursday, December 9, 2010

The impossible

It is impossible to ignore or want to ignore what is hopefully going on inside of me. Even though we know anything can happen and things are uncertain... we can't help but obviously love this life that is developing and pray for it constantly. Loss and infertility has certainly put a whole different spin on the appreciation of conceiving and the whole process of a pregnancy. Each week is a cause for celebration, each bout of nausea is a welcome ill (er splitting migraines are not welcome thank you- ha ha), yet each moment feels so uncertain and unsure.

Pregnancy after a loss is so very different. It's hopeful, scary, exciting, surreal. I haven't even been able to come up with words to express myself. Hopefully I'll have another 7 1/2 months to feel it out and share.

8 days until the ultrasound. We are ready to see you little one. Even though we are very tentative, know you are loved immensely!!!

13 comments:

Kelly said...

I know how tough the waiting is! I hope the next eight days fly by for you.

Kelly said...

Praying and sending good thoughts!

snhg1129 said...

I know exactly how you feel hang in there!

Jess said...

Sorry that you are still getting the migraines. I hope they pass soon. And can't wait for the ultrasound!

Mrs. Lemon said...

I am truly so happy for you and am inspired by your journey!

Annie said...

I'm in the same place as you - barely pregnant after late loss. And it's very very scary and uncertain. Hoping we'll both finally get our miracle rainbow babies.

Katie said...

Praying for you Allison!!

katery said...

very exciting, i understand though, cautiously optimistic.

Jenn said...

My prayers are with you!

kanitzsche said...

Thinking about you and praying praying praying.

I hate the waiting and the dreaded two week wait.

Eileen said...

Saying so many prayers for you!

Lisa said...

Is today ultrasound day? I hope you see an amazing heartbeat (or two)!

Kate said...

Hello. I found you as I was searching online for endometriosis. I'm a blogger and was hoping to find someone who shares the pain I do everyday which is endometriosis. I'm sad that I have found someone, knowing what its like for me to live with it but comforted that someone is out there writing about their experience.

Thank you!
Kate
xoxo
http://loveiseverywhere.blogspot.com/