I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Don't get too excited

Really?  Why would you say this to someone?  I had a friend say this to me the other day.  And a family member (not a close one).  Add this to the growing list of moronic things that people say to you  ;) 
 
My husband and I have decided that we are going to enjoy this pregnancy.  One day at a time.  I never want to regret not being happy about this time in our lives.  Yes, it's scary as hell.  But, there is some really wonderful and joyful potential going on in there.  What if I do make it full term and have this child for this world?  Then I will look back on this pregnancy...and wonder how I could have enjoyed it more?  I don't want those regrets.  Take each and every day and enjoy it unless we are given reason to do otherwise!
 
Besides, like I said before, it's kind of impossible not to be hopeful and excited.  Seriously impossible.  Isn't this what we wish for as "infertiles"?  Isn't this what we dream about?  I will not take the time we are given with this pregnancy for granted.  Whether it be 8 weeks or 9 months!  This is what we hope and dream for...and I will be happy!!!  Damn.it!  Scared yes.  Happy, definitely!!!
 
Love you little bean!!!  We have our first OB appointment tomorrow.  Maybe we'll get to see you again.  If not, please behave and grow!  We will do the best we can from out here!!!

17 comments:

jeanna said...

I really want to smack the someone that is saying that to you! How HORRIBLE!! Of course, those of us with losses can tell you that we KNOW the horrible things that can go wrong and the pain associated with it; we don't need the reminder and yes you are correct that this new life deserves to be celebrated to the fullest for each day it lives be it a few weeks or 80 years it is just as precious.

This is what I have had the hardest time with. My heart wants to celebrate, but my brain tried to fight with logic of all that can and still could go wrong. At 31 weeks I still catch myself saying "if" he gets here instead of "when". After a loss you realize there is no "safe" day until they are here and then we all know there are no guarantees in life. I wish you lots of holiday cheer and baby celebrating this season! GET EXCITED!!! Buy this baby something!! It won't jinx ya!

The Echols said...

Screw them. I hope you get super excited! This is very exciting and worth all the excitement you can muster. Fingers crossed for you!

Becky said...

Enjoy every minute! Have a Wonderful, Blessed Christmas, and a Peaceful, Prosperous, & Healthy New Year!

Jennifer said...

That's crazy! No matter what could happen, every baby is so precious and such a miracle and deserves for everyone to be excited about it. It is SOOOO exciting! Just let those comments roll off your shoulders (as much as possible) and you and your hubby be excited :). We're all excited for you too!!!!

callmemama said...

Wow, the stupid things people say sometimes...
Good luck at the appt tomorrow! Hope you get a pick at the little bean :).

katery said...

if you are able to enjoy this pregnancy than do it, take it from me, i wasn't able to enjoy mine at all because i was paralyzed with fear, i wish i hadn't been so scared.

Courtney said...

I had people tell me that with Henry too, and I'm so glad I didn't listen. I take your exact attitude...yes it is scary but pregnancy is something to be celebrated. This first tri and henry's went/is going a lot faster and much more pleasant with enjoying such a wonderful blessing.

erin said...

wow. people don't know what to say. i really do believe they are trying to help..but still...sometimes not saying anything would help more. be excited. it's an exciting thing....its not everyday you are pregnant! we are excited with you and hopeful.

What IF? said...

You've endured more than any human being should, and have earned the right to feel every ounce of joy and excitement about this beautiful baby you are carrying. Relish it, and ignore people who say stupid, misguided things. I hope the fear diminishes as the weeks go by, and that the joy and excitement increases exponentially. I hope you get to see your little bean at the upcoming OB appointment. Sending you much love.

Kathy said...

I just found out stupidity can still surprise and confound me. Enjoy each and every second and dance with excitement.

Lisa said...

That's a really crappy thing to say to you! Of course you're being cautious, it's impossible not to be when you've struggled with fertility, but you have every right to be "too excited." Happy Holidays to you, Wes, and your growing bean!

Miche said...

Congrats! How exciting! Good luck at your appointment today :)

Rosie said...

Most definitely agreed. Enjoy every bit while you are in the midst of it. And hopefully you'll be enjoying the pregnancy all the way up until you give birth to a very happy, healthy baby! I'm so excited for you!

Jeanne said...

Allison,

"Enjoy this pregnancy. One day at a time".
Quote attributed to the wise and lovely Allison

You do that!! Happy holidays!:)

Jeanne

Trisha said...

I think your attitude is admirable and definitely the way to go. There are no guarantees for anything in life, but that's even more reason to enjoy and appreciate every day and every good thing that comes your way. Love you guys! I am very excited for you!

Trisha said...

I think your attitude is admirable and definitely the way to go. There are no guarantees for anything in life, but that's even more reason to enjoy and appreciate every day and every good thing that comes your way. Love you guys! I am very excited for you!

Katie said...

I don't even know why I'm so shocked at the stupidity of so many people. Don't let anyone ruin this for you! Time to start removing some toxic people from your life? Anyone who can't be happy for you and support you can just piss off! It's all about YOU, girl! Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and MANY MANY blessings in 2011!!