I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!





Tuesday, December 2, 2008

RE Appointment Today

My appointment. Hmmmm. It kinda sucked, but, it was good too. Is that possible? The plan is to come in next cycle and test at Day 2-I have to call at Day 1. I was thinking about it though...what if that is Christmas?!?!?! I'm going to be OOT! Anyway, he wants me to start Femara next cycle too-it's an off label use for enhancing my eggs? Wes is going in for tests...he can go anytime as long as there is abstinence 3 days prior. The reason he wants to be so "aggressive" with trying to get us pregnant is because of the nature of my disease...and he'd like to avoid surgery as long as possible because every time they work on an ovary it compromises it.

So, then the kinda okay to worse news...I had an US-and I have a 3.5x2.5 CM on my right ovary (again). If it gets bigger, too big, they'll have to operate again. As long as it doesn't get too big and I'm not dying from pain...it'll be okay there for right now. I'm producing good follicles (I had 11 on the right ovary?). BUT, again, bad news-my ovaries are BOTH glued to my uterus. They aren't supposed to be like that-they are supposed to be floating around freely with space between the ovaries to the uterus. AND, the ovaries are TOUCHING one another from the adhesions too. Great. He said that could be a big problem in the eggs moving from the ovary to the tube to get fertilized. THEN, there is the issue of needing to get my tubes flushed. That needs to happen on days 7-10 of the cycle (which is now, but he's booked-damn)-so, next cycle. The unfortunate thing is that they need to use a similar dye to which I am allergic to. So, I'll be pumped up on steroids and benedryl a few days prior. That part makes me nervous!!!!

So, there ya go. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm kinda confused. I wonder now that he say my egg count...does he still want me on Femara? Or, are we thinking IVF? towards the end of the appt he said that IVF might be best because of how everything is laid out-and since I'm producing a good many eggs, they'll be easy to get enough to use...

Ugh, I hate when you have questions afterwards.

I almost started crying when he said I had another 'oma (tumor). :( I don't want it back!!!!!!!!! It wasn't there last time they looked (May). But, he's very optimistic, and, it was nice to talk with someone who was really explaining the endo more than I feel my GYN does.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Month 3-A Bust

So, we have our appointment scheduled next week with the RE (Dec 2nd). I'm a little nervous about the appt. I'm not really sure what to expect. This month's cycles were nutty-with the good possibility that I did not ovulate (I've been spotting now for 4 days-no real period). My symptoms are kinda up and down...I guess that's good that they aren't constant though, right? My reflux has been pretty bad since last week...hoping maybe it's a little of the stress? So, I'm not sure what he's gonna say, do, what to do next, etc. So, we'll see.

Not much else new going on here. I've been pretty stressed out between my crazy cycle, home repairs that are NEVER ending and just busy life as usual. I've had a few mini-meltdowns this week. I just need to chill!!! I wish I could wiggle my nose and everything be done around this house!!!!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I learned a new term yesterday

Anovulatory. I never knew. Here's what Wikipedia had to say:

The anovulatory cycle is a menstrual cycle characterized by varying degrees of menstrual intervals and the absence of ovulation and a luteal phase. In the absence of ovulation, there will be infertility.

::Insert facetious "awesome" here::

So, I had some folks on a chat board look at my chart, and it was almost unanimous that I am heading towards not ovulating this month. It could still happen, but, it's unlikely especially with my normal charting history. The thing that I find so strange about all of this (aside from not ovulating..does that mean no real period?!?!) is that it ALL STARTED with that spotting at the beginning of the month. I was supposed to be having my period, but, it was just spotting for days..and light spotting. So, I'm not sure what all of that means, but, I don't think it's coincidence!

Anovulatory cycles can happen every so often...but, I need to keep my eye on it given my severity of endo. I have an appointment with the RE on Dec 9th, so, I'll definitely be letting him know then. Now, I'm wondering if I'll have a period this time. They say you can bleed, but it's not like a period? I don't really understand that at all. But, I guess we'll see what happens. You never know!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

It was a good weekend

Stressful with the ever-going home repairs, but, good! I had a few "pangs" on Friday night. But, other than that, nothing out of the norm. I just wanted to post because I realize I only tend to post on the negative. Not trying to be a Debbie downer...I guess I just "need" my blog more then-when I'm looking for answers and support. Ya know?

Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Anyone good with charts?

Yeah, cause mine is CRAZY this month! I've usually got a nice "regular" pattern-low temps, steady climb (dip-the ovulation), and they peak. It all started with that spotting! I took a pregnancy test thinking...okay, maybe...even after the awful bleeding and clots; but obviously it was negative. Anyone? Anyone?


Friday, November 7, 2008

Why did I say I wasn't nauseated?

Whoa, was that ever a mistake!! Today I've been home with some really awful nausea. I haven't stayed home in a while...I don't have the PTO to do it!!! BOO! I tried going in, but, only made it a couple of hours. My hubby had a stomach bug earlier this week, I got the flu shot on Weds and last night I ate an icky chicken sammy. I am not sure if it's any of those (or which one of those it is)-we'll see. I just hope it passes soon!!! My head is hurting too-ughhhhhhhhhhh.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Day 9...and guess what?

Yep, that's right...there's that right sided lower chest pain. It's definitely my diaphragm. I went to PT today and she said that my ribs towards the bottom felt a little close together, but she dug into my diaphragm (yes, it was an uncomfy as it sounds!) and said it was "icky". YEOWZERS-no joke!!! It hasn't been awful today...just really nagging. Sometimes it causes me to be a bit short of breath-but I think that's cause I'm babying it. It also causes me upper shoulder pain/headache because I've noticed I adjust my posture to also "baby" and adapt to the pain.

She also did a rub down of my abdominal area, and, it was all stuck again-very tight and not squishy as it should be (I love her, she totally uses language I can relate to!). I could actually feel as she pushed in on my right, my left side pulling. Nice.

I hate to say this, but (knocking on WOOD), I haven't been nearly as nauseated this month. I take comfort in the relief of that symptom!!!!