I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Reaching milestones

16 weeks yesterday.  Time flies!!!  At almost 17 weeks in my pregnancy with Wyatt, my water broke.  I delivered via induction at 18 weeks.  Milestones are creeping up on us.  Things have been going really well.  I keep having to remind myself that this pregnancy is COMPLETELY different.  We are enjoying everyday.  Sometimes the anxiety sets in, but, for the most part I have been a lot better about things than I expected myself to be.  Quite surprising...pleasantly surprising.
I love this child very much.  He (or she if they were wrong a few weeks ago, haha) is not a replacement for our first born.  Never will be.  He will be his own person.  Our own excitement and new adventure.  I don't wish that he was Wyatt.  They are two different children and we will love them both, always.  It's strange to think of, but, I don't ever want our son to think that we wish he was someone else.  That things were different.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  We miss Wyatt.  Terribly.  Sometimes what happened with our last pregnancy does have bearing on my anxiety and comfort level.  But, I also think that because of the way that things happened with Wyatt, that in a way we appreciate this pregnancy possibly more than we ever would have.  Each day is a blessing and a celebration.
Soon we will be in uncharted pregnancy territory.  That is both terrifying and truly exciting.  Looking forward to a blossoming baby and belly and sharing our excitement with the world!  August is going to be here before we know it!
2nd week in March is our next ultrasound.  Definitely ready to set our eyes on the baby and seeing how things are going.  This will be the "Big" anatomy scan (I think), so, lots of neat things to look forward to and lots of praying to do! 

Friday, February 4, 2011

Another hurdle hurdled!

Today we had an ultrasound-14 weeks, 1 day. This baby and this body are doing amazingly well! Cervix was nice and long, baby was moving about and doing well, fluid levels are good...just a fabulous report all around. Apparently my placenta is lying a little low. While not expected, it is not uncommon and most of the times it will correct itself. They will recheck at the next visit in a few weeks. In the meantime, a good bill of health and worries eased for the moment.

The appointment made us really miss our Wyatt. They think we are having another boy. It was very strange being here again (at another ultrasound)...in very different circumstances than just what seems such a short time ago. I guess it's actually been a while. Seems like yesterday! However, we are very comforted in knowing that this baby has one, VERY special guardian angel watching over him. Always. I know the next few weeks are going to be pretty emotional for us as we make our way to that 17/18 week mark. Every day is a cause for celebration...but everyday is bringing painful reminders back into our fore front.

We love you Wyatt. We love you new little D. You are both our children...and we will love you always. No matter what.

Now stay put baby! You've got some more months of growing, ok?!