I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A not so negative post

I can't believe I forgot to post that we were able to hear the heartbeat last week!!! Music to our ears! 2 days shy of the 2nd trimester...most women would be feeling so much more comforted now. I'm not sure that will happen for us. Although tension hasn't been running high or anything, there are definitely those days.

One day at a time. One step at a time. Together.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Liar liar

Whoever said that endo gets better with pregnancy is a big fat liar. I am in more pain than I've been in at LEAST a year. Maybe two. Not good times, let me tell you.

Seems that the wonderful progesterone that helps keep this baby safe also likes to play games with the digestive system. And, with my colon being stuck to my uterus... without being too descriptive..WOW. There are other stretching woes going on, but, they are bearable. Not so much the colon business.

What I've learned this week? Progesterone and adhesions are more powerful than gallons of water, fresh fruit and veggies, prune juice and colace. Know what helps? A warm glass of apple juice. So far. Who would have thought of that? Really?

I hope that this too shall pass!?!?
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Saturday, January 15, 2011

Fantastic article

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Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Endo blog meets football

WAR DAMN EAGLE!!!! Those of you who know...you know!!! BCS National CHAMPS!!!!

Toomer's Corner style with our tiny trees!!!

Monday, January 10, 2011

In other news

Today is a snow day. Not the most ideal of snow days since tonight is the BCS National Championship with my Auburn Tigers!!!! My hormones might not be able to take any power or satellite outages. 10 hours until game time. How will I ever control my anxiety?!?! ;) (Dont know that you know, but, I love me some football!!!!)

But isn't it so pretty?!

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Doubts, doubts, go away!

10 weeks, 3 days

I haven't blogged in a few weeks. It's strange. Things have been busy with the new year here. Nothing much to report on this end. I don't have another Dr.'s appointment until a week from Tuesday. Seems like FOREVER away. Unless we choose the first trimester screening, we won't be having an ultrasound at that visit. However, I will be requesting a doppler. I need reassurance that this baby is still in there. Starting at 14 weeks I'll be going in for frequent ultrasounds to check the cervical length.

Luckily for a while nausea has been consistent and reassuring. Sore boobs, etc, etc. Unfortunately, those symptoms have started to wane...which, starts up the uneasy thoughts in my head. Some days I can go all day without a bout of any ick. Other days, I'd rather be in bed. Truthfully, until I get frequent peeks of this little one, I'd rather have some of that reassurance!!! I've been having bad dreams lately. They feel so real. We remain hopeful, but sometimes the doubt comes creeping in. Today, I just don't feel like I'm pregnant. Tomorrow, I hope that will be different.

Love you little one. Don't mean to doubt you. It's not you...it's me. Sometimes I wonder if my body is capable of doing this. My dreams are trying to convince me that it's not. Praying for peace, and, as always praying for you, dear child.