I am 35 years old, living with stage IV Endometriosis, possibly adenomyosis and struggled with infertility for almost 4 years. I also struggled with PPD and now struggle with PMDD. I am a mother to a son that was born at 18 weeks and too precious for this earth; and now a mother to a son born in August 2011. By journaling here, I hope to benefit both for myself and for others that are dealing with this disease and fertility struggles. Thanks for visiting!

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Round 2-

I get my next shot tomorrow. I must say I am pretty nervous. Will things continue as they are? Will they get better? Get worse? All the unknown-I can't stand it sometimes.

Finger pain has been bothering me some at work lately(3), sciatic pain on and off (3) and I've had cramps (?!?) the past few days. ODD! Like, not hurting per say, but, the ovulatory type feelings. Um, should I be ovulating? I wouldn't think so. Also, on/off headaches (2).

Reflux (4-5) is back again. Meds? Who really knows.

Pretty tired this evening. I took some xanax tonight...so many thoughts running through my head and I'm getting a bit edgy. Just ready to be out of the Dr.'s office tomorrow.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Weekend Recap

Had a pretty good weekend overall. I've been having these random headaches. The pain shoots up from the back of my head, hurts for about 3-5 minutes, then goes away. Sometimes this happens in clusters of 2-3 headaches, sometimes it's just once. I haven't noticed a pattern yet. When they come on though, man, they are intense (6-7) and sharp-almost makes me gasp it's so sudden. Crazy.

My sciatic pain (plus a little in the shins) is back too (ranges from 2-6)-we've been really active this weekend, so, I'm sure that doesn't help. When we got married in Oct. 06, we must have had some nervous energy because we dug up every single ugly boxwood in the front of the house. Well, FINALLY, this weekend we finished up the "flower" beds in the front (i'm sure our neighbors are SO stoked-ha!). Seriously, we do things at a very SLOW pace. My hubby edged the beds and got them ready, and I planted about 9 shrub type plants and 2 rose bushes. I feel like someone slammed me up against the concrete right now though-so tired and sore. Out of shape or just out of sorts with the meds? My mood has been okay this weekend though-maybe from all the activity? I only snapped once or twice.

Next shot, #2, is Weds. I'm nervous. Will this one really set the estrogen spiraling, or, is it supposed to just keep things level now? I really hate taking meds-I hate the unknown-it's scary! I never did well with BC-it always gave me migraines. I really don't want those back!!! Inevitable with so little estrogen in my system? Or, were those caused by the estrogen in the pills? I feel so dumb sometimes about this stuff-I get confused about how it all works-too much to know. Anyway, I'll be sure to let them shoot up the other cheek this time...the one they already used is where my pain is. Though, I doubt the action of the shot is related, the pain didn't start until 3 weeks later.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Sponge Bob Fussy Pants

The worst thing that bothers me is my mood. I hate getting angry and all bent out of shape for no reason. Not that I didn't have my fussy moments before, but man, this is a bit psychotic at times. I didn't exercise today-note to self. I need to try to work out at least 20-30 minutes a day! That, and, I need to practice some focus techniques or something. Another contact suggested Yoga. I think I have a DVD around here...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

GI Follow-up Yesterday

I forgot to post yesterday about my GI visit. It went pretty well, and, he cut me off into the wild. Ha, okay, not into the wild, but, I am following up in a few months by telephone. My heartburn-well, we are still hoping it's something short term. I know for a FACT it was caused by the meds from my PCP. That still infuriates me! ANYWHO, he gave me a year's prescription for Nexium. But, he only wants me to take it for the next 2 months straight, and, follow-up with a call about how things are going when I stop the meds.

They H-pylori test came back negative. I mean, THANK GOODNESS! I've been on enough antibiotics for it to be. WHEW. Insert sigh of relief here.

I finally got to talk with him about my colonoscopy. He said that the sigmoid portion of my colon was like a road with some road hazards. It was difficult to navigate the scope through, and, apparently very tense (as opposed to the rest that was relaxed?). This makes sense now, with the CT results back a few months ago that suggested colitis-it was all endometriosis causing the inflammation and "YUCKS". He biopsied all the places where there was indentation, and, thankfully it all came back negative. He said that at some point I might need a resection if problems resurface and worsen, but, nothing needs to be done now. Hopefully the Lupron will give my colon a break and some of those darned adhesions will "die" off. My care concerning this is turned over to my GYN, since the GI isn't really up on endo stuff. They've been amazing, and, I'm thankful that I have someone to turn to if the need ever arises in the future. The whole practice is so warm and friendly, and so knowledgeable. I'm SO glad that I was able to find them!

So, that's about it. A good report, and, nothing really we didn't know before. It was interesting to hear him describe the inside-makes sense why I was so sick, and why still when I am "full", I get that not so fun feeling.

Today has been a pretty good day. Horrid headache surfaced this afternoon, but, I'm pretty sure it was sinus related. My "allergies" have really flared up this week. I can't wait to breathe out of both nostrils again! Pains in my fingers (3) and some heartburn (2).

Looking forward to the weekend here. Although, it's supposed to rain, AGAIN. I know we need it, but why always on Saturday and Sunday? Our yard is SO neglected. Next week my mom and grandmother are coming for a visit. I can't wait! Next week is shot #2 as well. Keep your fingers crossed! I'm getting a little nervous again....

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Green Smoothie

I have heard about these from my SIL and friends...and I'm finally going to try one...THIS WEEK! I just found a recipes to try. I think this is going to be a our breakfast Sat AM. I'll need a new blender if I really get into this. But hey, I'll take the extra energy and healthy benefits they boast!

I got the following suggestions from the Happy Foody Blog (link to the right). I'm also going to add 2 green smoothie sites I've recently found.

All you need is a blender. Add the ingredients, and add water to the thickness you want (usually about 2 cups)….and blend until REALLY smooth. I know you’ll be amazed at how yummy these are…but if you need it sweeter, just up the quantity of fruit.

Here are a few smoothie recipes to get you started:

2 large mangos
1 bunch parsley

6 peaches
2 handfuls of spinach leaves

2 mangos
1 handful of lambs quarters, stinging nettles, purslane, etc

1-cup strawberries
2 bananas
1/2 bunch romaine

4 apples
1/2 lemon juice
4-5 leaves of kale

4 very ripe kiwis
1 ripe banana
3 stalks of celery

4 ripe pears
4-5 leaves of kale
1/2 bunch of mint

Finger banana-spinach
10 finger-bananas
2 handfuls of spinach leaves

Bosc pear-raspberry-kale
3 bosc pears
1 handful of raspberries
4-5 leaves of kale


I've spent the past week or so fighting pretty extreme exhaustion. I continued my workouts, work, and plugged along all sleepy eyed. This afternoon I had an appointment with my GI, and afterwards, I came home and slipped into comfy clothes and found myself on our couch, where I am now typing this blog. All lazy and apathetic to the fact that I really need to go to the grocery store-I have decided that I am not going to move much from my claimed spot this evening. My exhaustion has won, and, for this evening, I’ll just let it. Tomorrow is another day, and chores can wait until then. Working out REALLY helps me I’ve found. No way I’m leaving this couch for that today though.

*Side note-shooting sciatic type pain is gone today-so far!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Weekend recap

We were OOT again this weekend, and, I'm EXHAUSTED. I have noticed being tired a LOT lately. Like, I can't wake up sometimes tired. Interesting how your body misses those hormones. My mood has been pretty bad. I just kind of SNAP sometimes-pretty crazy. I about went apesh*t over a puddle and my heels on Saturday on the way to the wedding we were going to. My (poor) husband is usually the one who has to deal with these swings. I do find that working out helps with these swings-it helped a lot today.

I also started a new symptom this weekend-a shooting pain from my left butt cheek all the way down my leg; like, a stabbing pain. Quite uncomfortable I must say. Anyone else had these problems? The symtoms mimic sciatic nerve issues. I'll wait it out this week unless things get worse. It's not a constant pain, more on and off. DEFINITELY worsened by sitting or laying down. Which, stinks, how do you get comfortable?!

Also, dizzy this evening. May have to do with the Zyrtec I took a little while ago.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

And I do mean FOUL!

I seem to be okay at work (maybe it's because you are supposed to maintain that check of professionalism), but man do I unleash the beast when I get home. My poor, poor, poor husband. Although the Dr.'s were sure that he was just as informed as I was, who could ever prepare for such moodiness?! I am SO glad he is here though, because no matter how pissed I am getting, he eventually makes me crack a smile and chill for a bit. At any rate, these emotions need to stay in check. I think working out is helping. We didn't go today, and I can feel the build-up. I'm going to go clean out my car to get some of this pent up "energy" out.

I started spotting again today too. Oh fun. Is this the period I should have been expecting, or, will it just be more random lightness? I'd prefer the latter obviously.

Next week I have a check up with the GI, then I think in a little less than 2 weeks it's time for shot 2. I must say I am nervous about the 2nd one coming up again. Is there another surge in estrogen? I suppose not...that's why you are supposed to get them within a month of each other-to maintain the drug in your system? Here's to hoping for the best though!!!

I'm off to "run" this wild child inside of me out-eeeeeeeeeeeek. Sometimes I just feel a bit on the "crazy" side. Not fun times. Definitely tolerable though (or so I say, should we ask the gentleman of the household? Nahhhhhhhhhh).

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Meow Pffft Pfffft!

I just wanted to note that I have been SO fussy these past few days. I dunno if I am just cranky from the un-normal amount of sleep this weekend, or, if I am missing my hormones already. My husband dragged me kicking and screaming to work out, but, I'm glad he did. It did seem to lift my spirits and helped me some.

My abdomen has been a bit uncomfortable today (2-3) and I have random "headaches" that last anywhere from second to 30 minutes (2-3) for the past day or two. Really tired too (4-5). Again, was it from being out of schedule this weekend? I am not sure. Going to try to take it easy this week, even though we are going OOT this weekend again.

Still some heartburn (even though I am taking nexium and prevacid) (3)-atypical PAIN symptoms, and, shortness of breath (2).

Sunday, April 13, 2008


Sorry I've been MIA-we went to see Wicked on Friday evening, and went OOT for a friends wedding on Saturday. It's been a long weekend, but, a good one. I talked with my GI last week, and they suggested I double up on my nexium (1 in the AM, 1 in the PM) and to take a pepcid mid-day. That has DEFINITELY helped the "stick in my chest" feeling I was having. I still get a dull, sore pain in my mid-section, but, it's definitely much easier to deal with. I am not sure if this reflux is the medication, or, my past history? I think my GI wants to do some tests to check it all out. So, we'll see. Heartburn was from (4-3-2-2) this weekend. The shortness of breath is still a bit of a problem (2), but, it's getting better too I think? Some generalized pains in the chest on and off (2).

I've been having random abdominal pains-a lot of times when my belly or bladder are full (2) like a duller form of my endo pain. And, random headaches. They don't last long and aren't persistant-I've always had headaches, so, I dunno if this is anything "new" or not. Also, barely spotting now...no use for pantyliners for this. I wonder if this means that the estrogen is going to start tapering soon? That makes me a little nervous.

Speaking of nervous, I haven't decided on the Lexapro yet-I took 1/2 of some xanax I have everyday since Weds. It's SUCH A LOW dosage, it's probably more of a mental calmness than an actual effect of the meds. I just am hesitant of the Lexapro. I really don't feel like taking anything else.

Here comes another week. I hope this finds you all well!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Weds with a side of Tuesday

Today and yesterday have been interesting. I've had increasing "discomfort" on my chest with deep breaths (3-4), sometimes causing shortness of breath the past few days. So, today I went to my PCP (Primary Care Physician). Now, I don't have all the confidence in the world with these people sometimes...but, today seemed to go well with not as many guesses as the past (I haven't had time to establish at a new practice...I'm just tired of always seeing a PA-not sure what you have to have to see a Dr. there), and, the Dr. actually consulted on things.

A little back fill-I've had a recent history of heartburn-cause by antibiotics given to me for something before the endo was discovered. I had atypical symptoms of heartburn too-it never really burned, it was just CRUSHING. Anyway, I came off my nexium a few weeks ago, and things seemed to be going well. But, it seems that the PCP thinks that my symptoms could be because of reflux. Apparently acid coming from the stomach-the way it presses and such, can cause shortness of breath, and, pain in the area that has been bothering me. So, I am going to go back on my nexium for the next few weeks until my April 22nd appointment. Hopefully things will clear up. I haven't really noticed any worsening with exertion and such, so, this makes sense. Keep your fingers crossed!

They also prescribed me some anti-anxiety medication as well. Not as take it as you need it, but, let's take this for a few weeks and see how things go. I've also had a history of anxiety, and have been on medications for that-for about a year a few years ago. Then it was Buspirone. Now they are suggesting Lexapro. I couldn't remember what I took last time today at the office. I may just ask to take that again, because, I know how I react to it. And, because Lexapro mentions warning about taking NSAID's with it, and, well, let's face it...some days I live off Ibuprofen! Both these medications take 2 weeks to get in and out of your system...so, that makes them non habit forming. We'll see. I'm not opposed to taking them, but, I feel like I am on so much right now (Lupron, Aygestin, Nexium, supplements and fish oil). So, we'll see.

This evening I was having some shin pain, probably about a 3-it only lasted a few minutes though. Also, I am still bleeding. It really hasn't gotten any heavier, but, I had a few cramps today (2-3). I wonder how long this is going to last. Also, still the "vein" pain-on and off (3).

Thanks for everyone taking a look at the site. I hope this is helpful, and I am so glad to hear with so many people "like me". I'm sorry that we have to bond in such a manner as endometriosis, but, it's nice to have folks to talk to.

OH, someone asked about my colonoscopy. I never really "officially" heard from the Dr. until yesterday. I spoke with his nurse (she had told me before everything she thought looked okay) and she said that he removed some tissue and a nodule. The nodule turned out okay, and there was no endo found to be penetrated. He said that wasn't 100%, but, that things seemed to be good for now. he said obviously if the adhesions on the outside ever get to be too bothersome they can go in and resect, but, obviously no parties are wanting to jump into that ANYTIME soon! :) I feel blessed to have my GYN, GI and RE. I really feel like they listen and don't mind speaking with me on things.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Is it Friday yet?

This is always my first question on MOndays. Haha. ;) Not that I wish the days away...just the work parts!

DAY 7 (Week 1!)
Today's symptoms:
- Wrist pain-1-2
- "Vein" pain (Legs and feet)- 3
- Chest discomfort-2/3 (more towards the sternum area; heartburn perhaps?)
- Starting more of a heavy spotting-requiring a pad now
- Last night-NIGHT SWEAT! Yikes, it was hot. In all fairness, I've had night sweats before, and pretty frequently

I also have a stuffy nose, which, could be attributing to the chest discomfort? A bit short of breath sometimes, but, I think that's because I am getting myself worked up about the discomforts.

Sunday, April 6, 2008


Day 6:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. A friend and I went for massages today-it was nice. I finally for to use my gift certificates I bought on a buy one get one deal a while back. I'm definitely going to have to go back for another one soon!

Today I have been having some (bone?) pain? My fingers hurt a bit when I type, and my wrist/forearm/hand and legs (from my foot to upper thigh-both sides) are doing those strange crampy things that has been going on the past few days (pain-1). I noticed this evening that there are spider viens (they are always there, but, not this pronounced) on the tops of my feet-where the foot meets the legs. Some of the leg pain I've been having has come on an off starting in this area. I will be sure to keep an eye on this. Off and on my chest hurts too-like, the ribs or muscles (pain-1). Looks like I might be spotting a bit too? Nothing unbearable or day altering, but noticeable for sure.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Another thing to mention

Also having random left wrist pain-started at dinner tonight. I barely touched my wrist with my other hand, and a sudden, quick surge of pain. It is a little "sore" tonight-like, a pinch of some sort.

Rest of 4/Day 5

I came home early yesterday with an awful headache and scratchy throat. I had headaches pretty constantly the past few weeks...even before the shots. I have a history of headaches associated with my neck/shoulder muscles. May be time to go back and see the Manual Therapy Associates. They did an awesome job. I took some tylenol and sudaphed and napped for most of the afternoon. The headache seemed to ease up, but came roaring back in the PM. That one was hurting in my sinus cavity and from my right shoulder up the back of my head. No pleasant.

Oh, I also had some leg cramping yesterday. Similar to when I am getting my period/am on my period. It'll hurt right behind my knee, where my vein is. Yesterday it extended up my leg (on and off, no constant) to my inner thigh. I will definitely keep a watch on that.

Today has been good so far. Before the shots, I was having issues with my eyes-like, focusing on things. Very hard to describe. For a while I was kind of dizzy with it, but, not anymore. ANYWAY, this "visual disturbance" is back today..kinda lightly. I am way overdue for a Dr.'s appointment, wondering if it is my contacts? My eyes are always changing. Will keep tabs on this as well.

After eating my stomach cramps a bit, and, when I have a bowel movement. There is colon involvement (not inside, but, on the outside) with my endometriosis.

I found a new blog today, another young lady journaling her experience with Lupron. I will tab her blog link on the right.

Such a rainy day here today. I think my husband and I are going to go for some dinner and to see a movie.

I am not sure if I have blogged about this, but, I've been making some dietary changes to help with my ingestion of estrogen and unecessary hormones. Obviously I cannot transform my habits overnight, but, just making some small changes along the way. I am trying to cut out non-organic dairy and meats from my diet. Pretty hard, and, can't do it everyday, but, I think even small changes along the way can make a difference. Also trying to lessen our use of plastics (drinking bottles, containers when reheating foods or putting away hot foods), and I got a new water bottle-a Sigg for more information. ALSO, we are starting to use a home delivery service here in town for our veggies. It helps support our local farmers, and, it's all organic. And, really pretty convenient. We just got our first shipment this week (Thursday). It's called Absolute Organics.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Day 4

It's early, just tooling around on my new laptop, and wanted to post an update. Seems like I'm getting a cold. It was due anytime with everyone at work being sick. Ugh! Nose is stuffy, and some headaches (nasal related-I can tell by the way it hurts). My abdomen has become a little sore the past few days, each day it increases with a little more intensity. It seems worse in the evening. Yesterday I was feeling a little nauseated for about an hour, then that went away.

I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend. I need to rest up to keep this cold at bay. Going to call the pharmacist today to make sure there are no contraindications with any cold medicines and my Lupron and aygestin. I can't wait to take some sudaphed or something.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Day 1

I received my shot yesterday. I was a big weeny-I thought it was going to hurt. It barely pinched. Nothing to report-hopefully it'll stay that way. I am taking aygestin with the Lupron for (hopefully) less bone loss and less side effects (hot flashes and night sweats). Apparently there will be a surge of estrogen soon, before the depletion begins. I *might* experience a "period" in a few weeks, and have been warned it might not be pleasant because of the surge in hormones.

I'll keep you all up to date on things as they change, or, don't change...